Vegas

Listening to: TJ's blog XP
Random Thought of the Day: Time to recap my year?


I decided not to take any concrete pictures in Vegas. SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT ANY OF THESE THINGS ARE!?

I wrote a really long story about vegas
maybe i'll post it some other time
when i don't have so many long posts queued.

sorry that last one was stupid




i'm having trouble sitting still

Contemplation

Listening to: Wedding Dress - Tae Yang
Random Thought of the Day: I haven't blogged in awhile. I feel like I'm neglecting my blog :[ sorrie bloggg...

I have been thinking a lot about random things the last week.
I suppose I am unloading more than anything, because these things
are things that people wouldn't want to listen to
these are boring things that mean the world to me:

Beautiful things pain me because I wish I could, but know I never will be able to produce something nearly as wonderful
Perfection scares me because things are never as they seem
I have this unquenched yearning to be a complete control freak
at least... on the things that matter
I carry a little black book because it makes me feel like I am making progress
but all I do is scribble in its margins and draw meaningless pictures
so really it is more unproductive than it is productive.

you make me happy
but you also make me mad
you make me blabber like a child
i'm still wondering if we've changed at all

love is horrible
it really does drive you mad
and make you into a quivering, helpless mess when the thing you need most is control
discipline
i wish i had more of it, so i can stop myself from craving your voice
your touch and your warmth
four days and i miss it already, as if you've been gone a year
but in a month you will be gone for a year
maybe that's why i'm already lost

or maybe it is because i'm scared
these four days without you
i'm wilting, yet you seem completely unfazed, freer, even
like you don't need me like i need you
is that the truth, then? people don't change
maybe i should just let myself down easy and
chalk it up to mood swings. yes, that's it. I have
temper issues and hormonal imbalances and am way too clingy for my own good
tell me i'm being unnecessary, normal people don't act like this
tell me you haven't forgotten me and i'll give you the world
no, half the world to make up your mind.
i'm not the only one going crazy, am i?

the things i write are full of cliches
but thats what makes cliches cliche, because they are familiar to everyone
the same old sob story
what have i to complain about?
i have food, a family, a home, friends, toys, clothes
i have everything that 90% of the world would die to have
but here i am worrying about a few silly numbers
because 0.2 can make me or break me

but i've already broken, havent I?
I've lost to the relentless pressures of academia, i've converted to your dogmas
give me 10 weeks and I shall pay homage to your twisted shrines
and burn friendships and memberships to keep you appeased
or you can take me down with you to your 7th level hell
and i'll rot for all eternity
because thats where 0.2 leaves me
broken.

screaming
thats all i hear now, screaming
the only one who understands me is too small to matter
and i pity her because she must endure longer than I
I who escape to the relative safety of a far away place
but she, who has nowhere to run
even as I scream back I bleed for her
i might pout at her shiny toys but at least
i had it good
there was no screaming when i was her
i wonder if she is like me at all
whether she curls up at night like i used to do and
thinks about darkness and the welcoming cold
i would wish that on no one
but i wouldn't be surprised

in a way i feel like i tell it all
because i can hide in transparency
let me be a chameleon... you think you know me
but i disappear, and just when you've found
my prickly shadow, I become something else.

or maybe i've realized that
though i don't mind confessing what's on my mind
99% of the time no one is listening
and i am speaking once again
to empty pixels.

The Trichotomy of my Taste

I have very diverse tastes.
In fact, I believe if you pull me apart and separate my interests and activities into distinct groups, I may well be four different people in one body. I find this a very interesting concept, so in the next (few) posts I'm going to see if I can do just that - separate this things I like into different categories, and see just how different my 'personalities' are... =d

The dark
I actually really really enjoy macabre art.actually, let me rephrase that. I have a weird fascination with it.
Sometimes, I wish I could pull this look off:
Or dress like this without being gawked at...

Things I like include :

I think I'm growing out of my skulls and crossbones phase though. Especially when mixed with pink~~ so childish! I'd like to think that my taste is becoming more refined and elegant..


.. but in the end, punk is punk.
just keep it out of the trash, kids, and pull down that skirt.

The Untold of Tantalus

Listening to: Jen's cooing over Nickkhun biting a napkin.
....

Random Thought of the Day: TIME TO STUDIESSS!!!


this is a story i wrote like.. sometime last year, to a flash fiction challenge. Flash fiction is when they give you a one word topic, and you ahve 60 minutes to write a short story. This is, I believe, the second I've ever written, and I really liked it, for some reason. I really like it when people take popular/well known stories, and write backstories, a la Wicked, and I tried to play off that. Enjoy?


The Untold of Tantalus

Do you know what they never told you about prison? That you are forced to reform because there is so much time to think about what you’ve done “wrong.”
I’ve been here six hundred, eighty four days, give or take a week. I spent the last, almost two years in various uncomfortable positions in my cramped cell, and I have thought endlessly of why I am here.
You know, they never really reward the saints. Those who do good are ultimately cast into flame, to be put on a pedestal and worshiped after death. For example, look at Joan of Arc, and where saving France got her- the funeral pyre, where she was tried and executed as a heretic. I am another of those saints of sorts; perhaps in a decade or two, after they give me the electric chair, I too will be immortalized and proclaimed as a hero.
I am here because I have gone about doing good the wrong way. Perhaps in forging my path to a better life for my family has caused me to go grossly off the road of righteousness.
But I am not sorry.
My son is better off now, and that is what I was aiming for. At all costs to myself, I have managed, finally, to provide for him what I could not before. And I know it may sound strange to you, hearing about it now, perhaps grimacing at what you perceive as an atrocity, indescribably horrible, but you will come to understand.
I was a caring father, you see. My children were the joy of my life. I worked hard every day in the mines of Phrygia, raising a fortune for them to spend. Niobes was my favorite son- I gave him everything he wanted, and sometimes, much, much more.
There was one dream of his, though, that I could not hope to achieve.
My ambitious son, recklessly envious of my birth – for I am the son of a god – claimed that it was his right to be as the gods were: immortal. I tried desperately to convince him that no good would come of it. His family would wither while he bloomed, his loved ones and friends would all die while he prospered and none would share his triumph, and any small amount of grief or ecstasy or success would be trivial, for he would have an eternity of them to spare; and what is the essence of life but those small shares of grief, ecstasy, and success? But he heeded me not. He demanded that I find a route to his immortality, and I could not refuse. I admit that in the course of his upbringing I have spoiled him, and thus caused him to believe I could produce anything he wished, if only he had a true longing for it. He had a pure, unbridled, ferocious longing for immortality.
There was no way around it. I could not let myself fail my son, so I tried my hardest to procure for him a way to achieve his dream.
It started with the ambrosia. Being half-god meant I was frequently invited to dine in Olympus, where ambrosia was plentiful, and where, I thought, no one would notice if a droplet or two went missing. Ambrosia is the food of the gods, and thus I believed it would develop god-like qualities in my son if he were to partake in the holy feast. I borrowed one goblet-full of nectar, for I had the intention of returning it in the form of a new god.
My son drank it greedily, saving less than a quarter of the precious liquid for his mother and other brothers. His form grew brighter and the life in him flared, his eyes shone with the light of success.
Alas, two days later, he fell sick. The richness of ambrosia was not meant for mortal mouths, and it overwhelmed his body. He grew close to death, spoke in his dreams of terrors and monsters and swords, screamed of failure. When he recovered, he blamed his ailment on me, that I brought the poison which almost killed him. I could not reply- I thought it was his greed that wrought his plight, and it was lucky he did not drink the whole cup – but I thought it would be better to hold still my tongue.
For the moment, Niobes was too afraid of further repercussions to bid me try another way, but with time, his caution faded and his lust for immortality grew. Thus, I was told to make another attempt.
It was around the same time that the gods scheduled their call on me. Having not heard from me in the three months proceeding that dinner, and having gotten over their anger at my misbehavior, they decided to check up on me, per say.
It was my son’s idea, you see. I could not be moved to end my own son’s life, for to shed his life-blood would be to shed my own; to carve out his heart would be to cast the match on my funeral pyre. I knew that, knew it surely as I knew his plan would succeed.
I am a devoted father, and I would do everything for my child.
And so it was, on the eve of their visit, I boiled this devilish brew that would give my son his greatest wish. With every stroke of my knife, I shed countless tears that my hands were stained with his blood, that his flesh now graced my cutting board, that the hellfires of the stove would consume what was my son. It was not his sacrifice, but my own. He would not know how it tore my heart to be the taker of his life, but he had insisted, and I could do naught but comply.
I knew the gods had seen our deed, but blind sighted by their warped perception of justice, I was the persecuted. I did not complain, for I had foreseen my punishment; as I watched from afar the resurrection of my son and his newly achieved immortality, I was appeased.
I have discarded every shard of morality and of faith in order to provide the most I could for the ones I loved. Here, now, I am alone. Niobes, carried by the euphoria of his achievements, forgets he has an old, sickly father rotting in jail. My wife has forsaken me, for she believes that I am selfish, that I treat the favor of the gods above my own child’s life. My other sons, angry that I would not sacrifice so for them, have deserted me in spite.
You see now, I am utterly alone. You are the only one I may trust with my confessions, the one person who knows that I was not wicked. When I am cast into the Underworld to be forever taunted by Hades’ cruelty, you will be the bearer of my one redemption.
You believe me, do you not?

a belated I AM THANKFUL!

Listening to: the humming of electronics
Random Thought of the Day: mmmm photoshop. i wish i could learn japanese. or korean.

i'm thankful for....

a boyfriend who is always understanding, especiallly of the fact that my life revolves around ACA LOL
my parents, for dropping off food and medicine for me at 7am on a work day, and for respecting and trusting the decision i make
my best friends, who are always there for me, regardless of many miles are between us, and how much i (accidentally) neglect them.
my amazing roommates, who never cease to put a smile on my face, show up randomly with boba, and try (unsuccessfully) to make me study
my boyfriend's roommates, who are like brothers to me, and carry me home and sing taylor swift together to keep me awake when i have too much fun with them at parties =X
my (unrelated) brothers, for always protecting me and babying me, even though i see them like.. four times a year. (especially michael, who drives all the way from irvine to visit <3)
UCLA, and at all the amazing experiences it has given me
America, and the chance to grow up here
my body, which, luckily, is whole and strong, and puts up with all the abuse i put it through (yay dance)
technology... otherwise i can't be a computer science major, right? XP
an awesome, spectacular, better than words could ever express second family at LA, who share my deepest love (dance) with me until the wee hours of the morning, in the most inconvenient (or... convenient..) of places (yeahh parkin lots!)
the coords, who toil to no end to make us the BEST TEAM EVARRRR
the alumni, who take time out of their schedules to read our spam and visit us and choregraph for us <3
and finally, all the people i met through ACA hiphop this year, who are willing to pull crazy all nighters studyin and make 1am bcafe runs and swipe me for food and take 5 hours bus rides with me to go get our ears pierced and look for my dinner when i leave it at work and make weird poses with me at photoshooot and drive me home after practice... well it goes on..

I LOVE EVERYONEE!!!

I need to shower in disinfectant

Listening to: Tears Into Wine - Billy Talent
Random Thought of the Day: I really really REALLY should be studying

I just cooked lunch, and realized that all my utensils were gone, but I couldnt get a few out of the sink cuz they were buried under a week's worth of dishes in the sink. Yes, I know that I'm culpable of forgetting to wash my dishes, but seriously?

I decided to wash everyone's dishes, cuz honestly I was pissed that no one else took the initiative to do it. Especially because I've already done everyone's dishes, like twice.

First of all, the pile of dishes extended past the top of the sink, which just shows how long we haven't washed anything. ALL of my knives were in the sink. ALL of them. I'm not even the one that uses them! So were both of the non-veggie spatulas.

So at first, it wasn't too bad... all of the dishes were a quick rinse...but by the time i got to the bottom of the pile, where all the utensils had floated, I found....

like.. 1/4 package of cooked ramen, with something vaguely representing vegetables like.. rotting onto the bottom of the sink, and some of the utensils and plates. I was literally scratching dried/rotted veggies off cups. There was also pear peels. I know those were fresh, cuz I saw *** peeling them yesterday. Seriously, WHY the fuck would you put MORE food into a pile of dishes, of which certainly food was already at the bottom? Especially, why would you put more food INTO the rotting pile, and then not bother to clean any of it?

I literally had to like.. disentangle forks and chopsticks from ramen. Not only that, but the thing we use to catch food to make sure stuff we dont want to fall into the sink doesnt fall into the sink...
the food that was MATTED and SQUISHED onto it had turned BROWN and smelled like.. iono.. sour milk. it took me SOO long to figure out how to get it out without touching it. GROSS GUYS.

yeah. and now everything is washed and piled into the dish rack.


thanks for being proactive, guys.



that was really ranty, but I do really like the people I live with. I'm sincerely apologetic for the vast amount of hipocrasy in the rant I just wrote, because I leave my dishes in the sink very often..





ON ANOTHER NOTE...
i'm tired ;___;
one last midterm!
GOGOGO!

Life Is Good

Listening to: Sign Here - Ice Nine Kills
Random Thought of the Day: I should be cramming EE right now...

So I found out that I pretty much failed all my midterms LOL
I got a 35/100 on EE1, and 77/100 on Maths, and I'm gonna ask my friend to pick up my physics midterm... although I'm pretty sure I didn't do too well on that either.

I know that was kind of depressing... but the nice thing is, I'm not that depressed! I used to care so much about whether I got an A or an A+, and little distinctions like that, but I feel like I've chilled out SO much this year. Maybe it's cuz I've just given up to the idea that my classes are too overwhelming right now, and I'd be happy with whatever, so long as its like.. an A. Okay so maybe I haven't chilled. But even so, with all the bad news academically, LIFE IS GOODDDDDD

Hip hop is AMAZINGGGGG! I feel like I'm bonding with everyone really well, which is GREAT, becuas eI can't say the same for dance in high school. There's definitely not as much drama and elitism, and I think that's partially because this is a competitive team, so if we DON'T bond well and work well together, it would be pretty darn hard to win.

and... I'm back with my baby <3
I guess all along I was vacillating back and forth between whether or not I made the right choice... but in the end, I guess I missed the good times too much. And now, I'm back spending like.. wayy too much time at his place... and everything feels perfect. Just the way it should be ^__^ Even IF his roommates are very distracting, and pretty much make me very academically counterproductive. Still, I love them all. And I love my baby the most <3

I love my roommates too.
TJ I LOVE YOUUUUU [because I know that at some point you're going to read this]
JEN I LOVE YOU TOOOO [but you won't see this ever :[ LOL ]
yes. you two are amazing. Even if i dont see you guys that much. But still. <3<3<3 ^__^

Okays time to go start EE. except my class is in an hour.
I guess that means I should procrastinate for 30 more minutes.. THEN go to class!
YAYY LIFE!

Asian Music Yay

Listening to: Forever Love - Wang Li Hom
Random Thought of the Day: t - 6 hours for physics midterm!

Forever 才了解自己 未来这些日子
要好好珍惜 爱我 有些痛苦 有些不公平
如果真的爱我 不是理所当然的决定


I've been liking really ballady songs lately.
And watching tons of really really lovely, sad dances.
in particular, this one.

watch it, love it.


yeah it is AMAZING.
The song is The Faces by Ryandan. It is AMAZINGGGG

Listening to: Chris Brown - With You
Random Thought of the Day: i am fuxed for my midterm. again.

would you guess it breaks my heart?

I still don't know why
I do these things to myself.




i'm listening to sad songs again.
but maybe they're not actually sad
but only sad because i make them so.
go figure.

lol

so then i blogged

and then i deleted.

just like

veni

vidi

vici

THIS IS SPAHHHTUHHHHHHH

Listening to: clazziquai project
Random Thought of the Day: alsdkfhasklernaskaf lekhralkfa asldkfna NOASDHFAKWERALKNSD H


this is what i do on sundays
when i am procrastinating.



i fail at life :[

slam 7 0 5 3: i wins at
slam 7 0 5 3: :|
slam 7 0 5 3: econ!
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
slam 7 0 5 3: hopefully at least
slam 7 0 5 3: keep positive mindset
Angie: LOL hopefully
Angie: i wins at maths
Angie: and econs
Angie: cuz i failzed my last lab
slam 7 0 5 3: econs?
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
Angie: i mean
Angie: physics
Angie: :[ not econs
slam 7 0 5 3: LOLLL
slam 7 0 5 3: yeah i was like
slam 7 0 5 3: wtf
slam 7 0 5 3: dont be a copyucat
Angie: dude i secretly ownz econs
Angie: i'm so good at it
Angie: i dont ever go to class
Angie: i just walk in during the midterms and finals
Angie: and then set the curve
Angie: and then i leave
Angie: like.. 2 hours early.
slam 7 0 5 3: do for me!?
slam 7 0 5 3: teach me?
slam 7 0 5 3: =D
Angie: no but if i teach you i wont be magicks anymore :[
slam 7 0 5 3: but i can be magicks
Angie: no but i'm te only one that gets to be magicks
Angie: :[
slam 7 0 5 3: u can be magick
slam 7 0 5 3: magikarp
slam 7 0 5 3: studying hard?
slam 7 0 5 3: hardly studying
Angie: no :[ too busy splashing
Angie: *splash splash*
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
slam 7 0 5 3: IT HAS NO EFFECT!!!
Angie: =*(
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
slam 7 0 5 3: its okay
slam 7 0 5 3: at level 20
slam 7 0 5 3: u blossom into
slam 7 0 5 3: gyarados
Angie: adnd then i cans make tornado
Angie: and tornado my homework away?
slam 7 0 5 3: just dont get hit by lightning
slam 7 0 5 3: then u be deadz
Angie: D:
Angie: we cans tawk lyk lolcatz?
slam 7 0 5 3: we canz
slam 7 0 5 3: we canz haz lolcatz tawk
Angie: lawllawl!
Angie: lawllawl i are lolcatz!
Angie: i can haz chezburger
Angie: but i dunt want chezburger =[
Angie: what can i haz?
slam 7 0 5 3: then u canz not haz chezburger
slam 7 0 5 3: u canz haz avcadoz smoothes
Angie: canz i nomnom on avcadoz smoothzzzzz
Angie: nomnommnomnomonomnaosdfalernalksdhflawnerna nomnom
slam 7 0 5 3: hahahhaa

I'm a ROCK.. er... RAP STAR

Listening to: crickets
Random Thought of the Day: My head fucking hurts like a fucking bitch. ow.

So I wrote a really cool rap in the shower. It rhymed really well and flowed pretty smoothly.

But by the time I got to the end I already forgot the beginning.

I thought about rewriting it

but then I realized...

the topic makes me sad.

Life <3 and Contemplation

Listening to: Offspring
Random Thought of the Day: I wish I were back at LA....
ACA <33333

The last two weeks of school have been AMAZING. Super super busy, but like.. blissfully amazing nonetheless. I met the love of my life (well.. re-met...): dance, and am now a part of the SUPERAWESOME ACA HIP HOP <3. I barely met everyone on the team yesterday, and already I feel like this is going to be a fantastic year, with fantastic people. I'm SO EXCITED for rehearsals to start, so I can spend more time with everyone (and so I can dance, of course!).
Initiation was last night, and while I must be hushhush about the details, it was SUPER fun! I dont think I've been so carefree and unobtrusively outgoing in a WHILE. For a while now I've felt like college has made me shyer, and it's been harder for me to meet and really get to know people. But now, I think that might change, and I'm excited to see whether I'll truly mature and become a better person out of this next year's experiences.
Also, the last two weeks or so, I've been spending pretty much every other night at George's place. (heehee) It's been SUPER fun, since its like.. iono. Pretty much spend the night cooking together (in the last couple days, we've made Croquettes, Tonkatsu, spicy sauteed fish, oyster sauce vegetables, and the guys grilled tri tip when I wasn't there D: D: D: ) and then some sort of sport / video game is always playing on their 60 inch TV (immense jealousy goes here, but at least I get to watch it too LOL ... to compensate for the 24inch TV in my apartment.. =d ). We party together sometimes too, which is also fun. Its kind of like having a lot of brothers.

Which brings me to the Contemplation part of the post:

I realized... I'm really scared of change. While I embrace changing myself for the better, and being ambitious (and the change that comes in that right), I'm scared of the changes I can't control. I'm so satisfied with the way my life is right now that I'm terrified of anything happening to like.. shake up everything. Like... I feel like I'm on a spike where my position is PERFECT, but if I squirm too much I'll fall off or the spike will break. Yet at the same time, I'm not entirely sure that the spike that I'm on is where I should be. haha I don't think I make much sense right now... but I think TJ knows what I mean...


Like... how do you know what perfection feels like, unless you've tasted life without it?

Which brings me to another, very dangerous conclusion:
I feel like I should wreck everything.

Almost got Scammed =O

Listening to: Jay Chou- Ocean of Flowers
Random Thought of the Day: Mm.... New shoes <3

I ALMOST GOT SCAMMED TODAY! D:

I opened my email, and there was a message from 'Paypal' saying that I had authorized a $12 something charge to "godaddy" and that they suspected that it was unauthorized. Then there was this link that led to a 'Paypal' website, where you could terminate the unauthorized charge. This scam was particularly convincing because I had actually visited godaddy sometime in the summer! I signed in, and then it asked me to verify my credit card number and I was like "HRMMM WAITTT" and I looked at the url and IT WASNT PAYPAL AT ALL!!!! So I exited superfast and then changed my Paypal password.

Next time, methinks I should look at the url first? ^__^;;

zomgzomgzomgzomgzomgzomg I have so much work.

:[

Thanks Guys

Listening to: My computer fan
Random Thought of the Day: I am still kinda dizzy :[

Yesterday, I dragged a bunch of my friends (well... essentially, I dragged George's roommates LOL) to a NSU bonfire. It was pretty fun cuz I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO PLAY NINJA AND ITS SUPER FUNSSS!!!!

and then in the last game it was just me and michael yen AND I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE WON except it would have required something really awkward probably (since he was on the floor) so it was good that just then, Toshi called for attention to break up the bonfire so people could get going to the after party.

Yeahhhp. After party was fun.

but man... fail.

I was supposed to look after people too, except it ended up being the other way around LOLOL =|

but yeah. Thanks to my friends for taking care of me <3

and LOL george warned me not to drink too fast... but yeah. I decided I'm gonna try to just drink at one party at the very beginning of each quarter to get it out of my system, and then keep sober the rest of the quarter. Which will work out because I need to be not hungover for class, anyways.

Yup.

Tomorrow is george's birthday. and we are celebrating today.

I am excited.

classes

Listening to: Backstreet Boys
Random Thought of the Day: Yayyy tennis is fun. I like working out... as long as its not by myself, running on a treadmill.

So far, it doesn't seem too bad
the wheel keeps turning, you see
the hamsters keep running

one bad joke after another,
it's not so bad
after you get used to the
forced laughter.

someday, you'll be smarter
cliche lyrics, don't you wish
they rang true?

All you need is to be
is complacent
resign yourself to fate
let the current carry you.

Thinking....

Listening to: The tapping of the keyboards
Random Thought of the Day: I think I only like working when I have access to the internet. Then I can do random stuff online when nothing is going on. :)

So i was thinking last night... I was at D&B, and it was my friend/coworker's 21st birthday, and she got plastered. Luckily for her, her brother was there to take care of her, and it was really really cute how worried he was about her. But yeah. So that got me thinking...

DAMMIT I WISH I HAD A BROTHER :[
haha I was actually supposed to have one, cuz my mom had a boy before me, but then he was miscarried. But thats lucky cuz otherwise I wouldnt be here, i guess. But still.... I'd like to have a brother.

Especially one that buys me one too many drinks on my 21st and then takes care of me afterwards. LOL

New York and DC photos

Listening to: GLP
Random Thought of the Day: dude ISA was so ridiculously kickass... BEST night in a LONG time =D

~~ This is cross posted from my other blog. ~~

I should update more! Here are a few pictures from new york/DC! I'm working on post processing, so these are kinda rough.. I wonder if they're okay?This is the World Trade Center... or at least, where it used to be. Once again, messing around with post processing.This is the washington monument. I swear, DC is ridiculously gorgeous. Particularly around Capitol Hill.. right before a thunderstorm. The sunsets are stunning.

I love hte grittiness and starkness of hte building. is it a bit much though? >< And a wee lil crawly that made its way up my leg, while i was sitting on a bench in front of lincoln memorial. Cute, neh? XP My first ever decent bug macro. only 1/10 ended up passable :[


Yup. have i improved? XP

I dont understand...

Listening to: Clazziquai Project
Random Thought of the Day: I don't understand how, as a person, you can be so considerate and inconsiderate, so mature and yet so immature.

hm.


I hear screaming again.

The echoes aren't pretty.

In fact, they sound more like... rubber tires
tormenting cement

I don't think i've ever seen
so many veins in one man's neck

or so much poison in one woman's words


or so many tears
on a little girl's cheeks.

New York Lullaby

Listening to: My iPod died :[

Did you know? It takes roughly 5 hours to get from Battery Park - more specifically, the dock for the Liberty Island/Ellis Island/New York ferry - through Wall Street, to the corner of 38th and 8th street (including one half an hour Big Mac and Ice Cream stop at McDonalds) on foot.

It started when my dad pointed at the sign with the three blue circles.
"That line goes to Brooklyn," I said patiently, as he insisted that we were going the wrong way, and THAT line was the one we're supposed to take.
I tried again: "Wo men dei shang yi hao de di tie!" The number one, red line subway was the only one whose tracks cut a clear line through Manhattan, straight to Battery Park.
It took one janitor and one security guard in a neon yellow jacket to persuade him that I, the one holding the map, was indeed right. Ten minutes later, we were standing outside of South Ferry, lining up to board the wrong boat.

The problem with New York is that there is too much to do, too much to see. Every second is a lost second to be on the way to the next destination. That might have been the reason that my dad started dragging us back to the boat the minute we stepped off its deck, or it could simply have been that Staten Island is no Statue of Liberty.

All of the tickets to ascend to the Statue's crown were sold out until December. That wasn't too much of a problem, since my dad chickened out of climbing even the monument's pedestal. I say climbing because, while we ordinarily would have been rising up its height in a glass elevator, the elevator was out of order that unlucky day. Thus, it was only my mom, my sister, and I who made the 156-step climb to the statue's base.
It was too dreary a day for the view to have been particularly impressive. An impending thunderstorm drifted on the horizon, casting a gray veil over the skyline and dulling the magnificence of the sparkling skyscrapers and waves. Thats why, I was only 15 shots in on my Canon when my mom pulled me off the stone railing and back into the iron fortress that was the Statue's innards, to make the descent back down to solid ground.

I liked Ellis Island better than the Statue of Liberty. Perhaps it was because the Statue seemed much smaller in life than I had hoped, but Liberty Island was to me, entirely underwhelming. Or, it could have been that I preferred the bright colors of the displays in Ellis Island's museum to the mottled green that adorned Lady Liberty.

Neither of these, however, matched my appreciation for Wall Street. From the ornate stone decorations crowning every building to the gilded gold letters announcing each business, even the sign before the statue of George Washington that proclaimed the place where Washington was first sworn into office as President, Wall Street was the one place (besides Times Square) that made my determination to see New York worthwhile. Not that I would ever hope to work within its belly, of course, but a girl can dream.

Cradling the obligatory Starbucks coffees and coursing our way north, my family and I headed towards what used to be the World Trade Center. Unfortunately for my dad, the commemorative museum had closed half an hour before we arrived, slightly lost and sore from all the walking.

Then, came the conundrum.

End our day prematurely and return via subway(for New York, which, like Vegas is a city that never sleeps, 6:30pm is dawn for the social-minded), or lose ourselves in the subculture of Manhattan? For a family too frugal to spend $2.25 per person on subway tickets, the latter won.

Which is how I found myself, three hours later, passing the thirtieth Duane-Reade and wondering whether my feet were stronger than I thought and were actually carrying me fifty blocks back to the hotel, or whether they had simply gone numb. By then, I was carrying not only my own purse, but my dad's backpack (which I had taken in hopes that he would walk a bit faster without the extra weight), and a couple books we bought for the bus to DC the next day. The sky had already darkened, and the Empire State Building shone in the distance as a mockery to our weary feet (always moving away, like the mountains move so you never seem to get any closer). Occasionally, the rumbling laugh of the subway drifted from the grates lining the sidewalks, mixing with the stink of garbage.

When we finally returned to the hotel, there was no comfort to be found there either. Images of the patch of mold my mom had found on the back of her pillow floated freshly in my mind, as did memories of the crumbs of rust covering the back of the hotel towels. Didn't the cleaning lady do her job, my mom wondered, half annoyed, half sickened, as I maneuvered the bathroom on tiptoes, trying not to touch the walls.

Which leads me to a few conclusions about New York:
1. Never go unless you have the money to splurge on a decent hotel, and travel accomodations to and from there, and anywhere you might feel like exploring.
2. McDonalds in New York are much more interesting than those in LA (can you say Neon ceiling lights?)
3. LA needs more hot dog stands. By hot dogs, I mean bacon wrapped hot dogs. With a side of kebabs.
4. I do like New York, and very much so. But only the very very expensive parts of New York.
5. Mexicans are to LA, as black people are to New York.

NY, here i come!

I found the perfect training manual for my new job:


Beware: if you come into STC in 2 months and ask me to fix your computer, this is the procedure I will follow.


JK XP

LEAVING FOR NY TODAY! I'm so excited! I'm charging my camera, so I'll take lots of (hopefully) great pictures :] I hope my parents and I don't look too touristy... I told my mom to try and dress a little more stylish than usual.. LOL And then, I'm off to Baltimore and Washington DC! I'm excited to see the reflection pool and the white house and stuff. Once more, great photo opps! Unfortunately, it'll be uh.. thunderstorming the last 3 days of my trip, but hopefully the weather will take a turn for the better...

Listening to: Lollipop - 2ne1 ft Big Bang
Random Thought of the Day: Why do i keep getting headaches?! T___T

Work

Listening to: The Baseball game in the background
Random Thought of the Day: 15 minutes until I'm off work!

Dude I love my new job. Work is SOO ridiculously chill. In fact, I am at work right now. The managers are totally okay with us like.. doing whatever on the computers and chatting and watching movies and stuff, as long as we take care of the customers (when there are any, which there hardly are, in the summer). Sometimes, the managers come over and chat too, so we just have like.. six people sitting around, gossiping LOL. And James, the manager directly above the students, is pretty foul mouthed, and is only 2 years out of UCLA, so he's really lax, and a lot of the students are pretty potty mouthed in front of him, which is pretty funny. He's really knowledgeable about a lot of hardware and coding stuff too, so it's cool to learn stuff from him. Today, I tore apart a iBook, so it was some good (?) experience for disassembling laptops. We also got to fool around on the mac computers in the back, just to "learn how to use the OS," which was also cool. I also spent some time today doing some LSAT logic practice problems with one of my coworkers ( i actually got the answer faster than he did ^__^;;) haha. Maybe I should take the LSAT and become a lawyer instead? XP jkjk no WAY..

But yeah. I'm off work in 8 minutes now, so I think i'll go back to writing my article for my other job.

LOL its like getting paid for two jobs at the same time.
wooooot

D. Gray Man

Listening to: Last Angel - Tohoshinki (DBSK)
Random Thought of the Day: I... should probably be studying for my final right now.

It's the last day before my final, and I have no motivation whatsoever to study, even though it's kinda a make or break kinda deal ( I pass, then I pass the class. I fail, then I fail the class). Honestly, I don't care much about what grade I get in that class, as long as I pass. Weird, huh, since that's not normally my outlook on school.

Anyways, I've been reading D. Gray-Man recently, and I absolutely love it, maybe more than I love Naruto. This is one of my favorite panels EVER:

The top panel is the exorcists, and the bottom panel is the family of Noahs and the Millenium Earl, whom the exorcists are fighting for the salvation of humanity. It's quite an exciting manga, and gorgeously drawn. I have a penchant for liking only well drawn mangas (regardless of how interesting the story is), so no wonder I like this series so much! There are a total of (i think) 181 chapters right now, and the manga-ka is on hiatus (NOOOO!!) I'm already on Chapter 143, so ... D: I'm going to run out of my beloved D. Gray Man soon!
When I do, I think I'll watch Nobuta, cuz I need to practice Japanese, and because I promised Christina I'd finish it this summer(since... the DVDs ARE hers...).

Then I think I'll start on Pandora Hearts.
LOL T__T

I might cosplay as Allen Walker for Anime LA (since I might not be here for AX next year :[ )
but Sonia is trying to talk me into Alice from Pandora Hearts. Ahh we'll see ;)

Needles

Listening to: Vis Major- Brightwood
Random Thought of the Day: Bleh... I'm so lazyyy

I realized today that the reason I'm scared of needles is probably because of a scene in Princess Pearl, which I saw when I was six, and has remained one of my strongest memories from my childhood.
In it, the princess was tortured by one of the Empress's serving ladies, because the Empress hated how the Emperor doted on the princess. The serving lady stuck hundreds of tiny little needles into the princess, because it is a form of torture that produces immense pain, but doesn't leave many traces. I read somewhere a while ago that this form of torture was actually pretty common in Imperial China. How scary.
So that scene scared me out of my six year old mind, and here I am, well over a decade later, still afraid of needles.

But that blood test I got on Saturday, surprisingly, didn't hurt at all. Yay for experienced nurses!

I wonder....

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of...

Apartamenting and STOLEN from JEN/AMY

Listening to: Korean radio on my ipod! yay for tunewiki!
Random Thought of the Day: I .. really .. should be doing homework..

This is what moving into an apartment feels like. kinda.:

and the rest will be the stolen survey!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Re-post as “my life according to (band name)”

Pick your Artist:
My Chemical Romance

Are you a male or female:
Helena

Describe yourself:
I never told you what I do for a living

How do you feel:
give em hell, kid

Describe where you currently live:
disenchanted

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Early Sunsets over Monroeville

Your favorite form of transportation:
Skylines and Turnstiles

Your best friend is:
Romance

You and your best friends are:
Teenagers

What’s the weather like?
Desert Song

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Famous Last Words

What is life to you:
Headfirst for Halos

Your current relationship:
the ghost of you

Your fear:
I don't love you

What is the best advice you have to give:
it's not a fashion statement, its a deathwish

Thought for the Day:
This is how I disappear

How I would like to die:
cemetery drive

My soul’s present condition:
the sharpest lives

My motto:
thank you for the venom

strangely, a lot of them fit really well LOL

Things I wish I were doing.. but am not.

1. reading Harry Potter

2. sewing some shirts! goddamn it

3. finishing my baby's present ( =_= )

4. practicing guitar

5. making up instrument parts for my lyrics

I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO GET STARTED ON MY PORTFOLIO DESIGN! LIKE REALLY REALLY!

I dunno if i want tomake it kinda grungy/vectorish / scrapbook ish / or doodley! I'M SO UNDECISIVE!! :[

i had lots of food today *groans* *is very very full*

Music? =O

Listening to: Superstar- Ash
Random Thought of the Day: I MISS MY LVL 22 MONFERNO ;___; why oh why didn't I save?

Know what I've been doing recently?
NOT
I don't know why, but recently, I keep thinking of random lines I think would be good songs. And I also (frequently) get the inclination to get on my piano to make up something. If I were better on guitar, I'd probably try making up guitar songs too.

With that said, this is what I've been up to recently:I'm not done with it yet, since I'm still tabbing from my recording, but I can't wait to finish and play it for REAL (instead of just making it up as I go along *^___^*)

Also, I've been on a Pokemon spree lately. I just accidentally erased 5 hours of data this afternoon :[ so now I have to redo that entire part.

I'm really behind on homework too :[

MY FIRST ARTICLE for my new job at Make Use Of has been published! => YAY. heehee I'm excited. My editors tell me that I have a really good work ethic, so I'll pass the probation period with flying colors, and in no time! heehee

okay that's it LOL

Mirror Mirror

Listening to: The Shins
Random Thought of the Day: I should really be studying, instead of GIMP-ing pictures =d

Only Coffee

Listening to: Red Rabbits -The Shins
Random Thought of the Day: ARG >[

Can I see you again, he asked.
No, you cannot,
My fiance, his name is Dan.
Nevertheless, can I see you again?
No, no, a thousand times no!
Your smile, it reminds me of Annabel.
Who's that?
My dead wife.
They fall into silence.
Are you free next week, just for a chat?
No... well, maybe I'll be in town.

A chat over coffee, or rum, or poison?
Poisoned passion, forgotten Dan.

He panted,
I thought you were busy?
It's only coffee, you say as you moan...

Only coffee.

SUmmer so far, + new aspirations!

Listening to: Circus- Britney Spears <= omg first english music in AGES!
Random Thought of the Day: ... I probably should have done my homework :[

GUESS WHAT?!
I applied to be a writer of MakeUseOf :D I'm pretty excited, because it seems like they hire a lot of people, and I think writing for a Tech blog would be a pretty nice addition to my resume. That and I obsessively keep track of that stuff anyways, so it wouldn't even be a burden! ^__^ I'm really excited. WISH ME LUCK :D

With that said, I'm going to try to find some work freelancing as a writer. I'm not working this summer, so I've got to find SOME way to make a bit of cash. I think I can do it ><; It probably won't be a lot of money, but hey, its money for something I don't mind doing, so why not :)

Others:
I can now say " that person is Megan Fox" and "I came to school in an airplane" in japanese.
In case anyone is wondering, those two sentences are "あのひとはMegan Foxです" <= sorry dunno my kanji / katakana yet. "私は飛行機で学校にきました。" .. in hiragana that'd be "わたしはひこうきでがっこうにきました." ^__^ I like japanese.

I am also doing terribly in linear algebra.. but thats also cuz i'd rather be bored and browse random webpages than do homework. :[

Nancy

Listening to: Dynamite, A'ST1
Random Thought of the Day: Reading good authors makes me want to write (:

I stood on that dusty stage and began
shakily: "My name is Nancy.
The second page of my baby book reads:
Then she smiled, that sweet, unblemished
angel of ours.
until Growth took hostage of my body
and introduced me to the
cat callers and wolf whistlers of the world,
until there was nothing left save
shreds of burned feathers, matted to
the twisted knobs of my broken back.
Angel no longer, sweet--"

The woman in the front row stands,
poised unsteadily in fur and hooker heels
Touching, she applauds slowly and
takes a drag on her cigarette
the smoke obscures a mottled face, she
looks at me, lowers one tattooed eyelid
a ghoulish wink.
" They called me Nancy once too."

[not so] poetic at 3 am

Listening to: So Hot- Wonder Girls
Random Thought of the Day: Sometimes I wonder whether... its true or not. but then I feel guilty for doubting.

the musk of skin
a handful of purple stars
waiting for your name to appear
impatient tapping
frustrated, the clock ticks down
scrolling through pictures of you and me
laughter, soft kisses
my cheek feels the warmth of your lips
why doesn't phone ring?
cold words, harsh words
misunderstandings seep beneath my skin
i worry too much, relax
he'll call, he'll call
remember the fireworks? the happy glow
what about those days before?
let one moment wash it away!
no, no.
I cannot fall slave to a second's romance
watching and waiting for it to appear
a small gift, or a dangling carrot
it keeps me still
why isnt it ringing?
shush... just believe.


the phone rings.

Summer

Listening to: Fire - 2NE1
Random Thought of the Day: Wow I haven't blogged in AGES!

-Breakfast with Kevin [who sometimes lives in Arcadia! which is cool :) ]
-Lunch with Kristi [whom i havent seen since last year! But she's like... my oldest bestie ^__^]
-Lunch with Leanne [Bestie!! and FINALLY got korean sushi <3 ]
-Awesomely awesome date with my baby <3 It's too long to describe, but i'll just say that it was...

pretty darn perfect.

-Lunch with TLai, Jos, and Bryant [yayy for english buddies ^__^ my plan to vchat with tLai totally failed... but we'll do better next year! ]
-Dinner with Michael [i just saw him last week too =_= but at least he came down haha. And i tried .. soy paper wrapped spicy tuna rolls! they were pretty good .. but really expensive :( ]

Coming up [in no particular order]:
-Actually going to the Gym
-Summer school =(
-Lots of Chuck Palahniuk
-nomnom with lots of people
-busbusbusbusbus
-Ayashi no Ceres! and Hot Gimmick!
-more disneyland trips! and hopefully a six flags trip
-Boys Before Flowers, Coffee Prince, Nobuta wo Produce, One Liter of Tears
-HARRY POTTER PREMIERE ANYONE?
-finally turning LEGAL :)

yayy for more frequent posting!

Listening to: Doushite - DBSK
Random Thought of the Day: still too much crap to clean up!!

Today, I embark on my Macifying of my Dell Inspiron 1525 adventures! I'm going to log it here, for the [probably not] interest of whoever is reading this.

Logistics~
iPC OSx86 10.5.6 Universal FINAL
Dell Inspiron 1525, Running Windows Vista
HDD: 160 gigs
Ram: 2 gigs
Chipset : Intel core 2 Duo


11:00 : burned ISO of iPC with PowerISO
11:10 : Using DiskUtility, Shrunk my Vista partition. So far, so good?
11:25 : Booted into iPC.
11:29 : still waiting for loading screen to.. uh.. load. JK NOMNOM I SEE LEOPARD BACKGROUND
11:34 : First try FAIL ~ forgot to format empty partition in Windows Vista. SO ANTICLIMATIC. restarting into Vista nao.
11:42 : Formatted empty partition. Rebooting on iPC
11:45 : got distracted and watched Phineas and Ferb for 5 minutes =d
11:50 : PREPARING INSTALLATION~~~
12:10 : Computer went into hibernate during the middle of the install, because of my computer's terrible battery life. FAIL FAIL FAIL
12:12 : Try #3.
12:19 : PREPARING INSTALLATION!
1：00 ： DONEEE :D
1:01 : jk.. now installing drivers and patches to make the two finger scroll work

<333333

I stole this from Stina

Stina did one, and I feel like procrastinating, cuz I’m exhausted and don’t want to learn anymore! so here it is..

a chronology of how my taste in guys has changed LOL

   Unfortunately, this boy did not grow up well :( I had the biggest crush on him in elementary school… but no longer [thank goodness, because he is no longer good looking =X ]

Jake Gyllenhaal … I guess when I was younger I liked more white people…

  Howie from the Backstreet Boys. Surprisingly , now that I think about it, my favorite backstreet boy was NOT nick carter. Go me!

 

 

 

  Chris Trousdale of Dream Street, circa 7th Grade?

Strangely enough, it was Jesse McCartney of DReam Street that ended up making it big, even though he was the baby [and one of the lesser noticed members] of Dream Street.

Its okay though. Chris and Jesse are the only ones that grew up well :)

 

and now prepare for the onslaught of asians…

   by FAR my FAVORITE japanese actor! I watched Hana Yori Dango not because of the plot, or because anyone said “omg its so cute”

but because Oguri Shun going “Ma-Ki-No” is SOOO CUTEEEEE *squee*

 

 

 

 

  Wu Chun – my favorite Taiwanese actor! The only reason I watched even 2 episodes of the awesomely crappy Taiwanese version of Hana Kimi is because of Wu Chun.

Interestingly, I only started liking him after george mentioned him to me.

 

 TThey dress awesomely. Every asian guy needs to dress like this, because it is just too awesome. Thank you Korean Pop culture.

  And my favorite member of my favorite band, U-Know Yunho from DBSK!

heehee.

watching Yunho dance makes me happy.

 

 

 

lolol i think my taste in guys is getting more and more… feminine. That and … I seem to gravitate largely to Asian guys. =) yay for embracing my culture? LOL

and notice that Yunho and Wu chun bear an interesting resemblance to my favorite boy of all :

heehee <3

Freaking Out

Ironic that although I’m freaking out about not having enough time, I’m wasting time by blogging.

I’m just going to take the next five minutes to rant about how ridiculously busy i am going to be over the next few days.

Wednesday- Programs need to be finished by.. hopefully.. today, NSU Staff meeting (5pm-7pm)
Thursday- Chinese Final, CS Project Due, Superlatives
Friday – Physics Homework Due, Math Homework Due, Chinese Skit
Saturday – CS Final, NSU Banquet [if i dont finish CS early.. theres a possibility that the car to Banquet will leave without me D: ]
Monday – Physics Final

I still need to learn everything about Rotational motion for my physics final, Everything relating to vectors for Math, etcetcetc.

Did i mention that i almost lost all my chinese notes today? Lucky Jamie picked them up from 10th week dinner for me today.

.. here’s to midnight buddies. Who’s with me?! =(((

Listening to: Lies- Big Bang
Random Thought of the Day: OMG so much stuff I want to do! but already, the day is over and it's time for bed :(

Just a couple [maybe?] interesting statistics:

I the last [almost two] week[s], I've had 297 ounces of tea, 130 ounces of water, 78 ounces of Coffee, 52 ounces of smoothie, 48 ounces of diet soda, 45 ounces of soy milk, and 20 ounces of sports drinks.

I've averaged about 5.88 hours of sleep a night (which is surprisingly decent, and also largely offset by the amount of sleep I get on weekends). SEE GUYS? I'm not as sleep deprived as you all think!

I'm really happy right now because I just started talking to a old high school friend that I haven't seen all year. He taught me how to breakdance for a while last summer, and we used to randomly gym / get ice cream together <= how contradictory. I found out that he's gonna be going to PCC for summer school too and I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE NOW I'M NOT GONNA BE A LONER THERE ANYMOREEE. Well, technically I still am, since we are not going to be taking the same classes, but it's okay. It's still nice to have someone to, for example, meet up with between classes and stuff. And we might go karaoke, cuz he's korean, and I like korean music.

Christina and I went to go get Late Night and Bcafe earlier today, and I had my first burger at UCLA! Well.. technically it was a quarter of a burger. It was decent, but I think I prefer In n out =d
and getting smoothies without any sherbet ROCKS. They taste so much better because they're not NEARLY as sweet. Thank you, random people, for giving me ideas when I am swiping you guys while working at register.

okay so I barely slept last night, and will be needing to get up in about 4 hours [again] to go eat breakfast before class. It would probably be prudent for me to sleep now.

I WANT TO SEE STAR TREK OVER THE LONG WEEKEND!

Epik High

Listening to: One- Epik High

Random Thought of the Day: I wish I weren't so easily offended by small things.


I'm going to post a picture journey of my weekend.

Actually, just of the Epik High concert.

So... on Saturday night, I went to
with and to watch the promotional World Tour of Epik High's album, .
We to the sound of and . The latter's set got really boring though, cuz it was so damn long (almost longer than Epik High's, and they were HEADLINING!), so Lynn and I . Then, we got tired and sat down to wait out Kero One's set. From the ground, the stage looked beautiful.

It was an awesome day.

I'd post more, but its 4:30 and i'm sleepy :)

Midterms

Listening to: Haru Haru- Big Bang <= omg i'm so addicted to this song

Random Thought of the Day: SHINee's comeback look is slightly scary o.o but I can't wait for the release of Romeo!!

So its 2am the day before my second math midterm, and if I don't do well, I might as well just drop the class now. But strangely, I'm not very worried. I don't know if its because I've been doing practice problems, and getting most of them correct, or because I just don't want to care anymore. Either way, I'm glad I'm not stressed.

I haven't blogged for a while, I realized, because I've been so busy with midterms and what not. Here's what I've been up to: I joined Traditional Dance! Come see us at ACA's CACN, which is going to be May 29th, I believe. We're going to be doing Qing Dynasty dance (if anyone's seen Princess Pearl, aka Huang Zhu Ge Ge), and we get to wear QiPao and these wicked heels that look like this : yeahhh i'm pretty excited XP

Banquet Comm for NSU: We're planning the Banquet for Nikkei Student Union, which is going to be June 2nd (same day as my CS final... yikes >< ) It's gonna be at LAX Marriott, which is exciting! We've been hard at work fundraising and filming the Newbie Skit and stuff like that :) all funfunfun! Watching KDrama: Boys Before Flowers! I've seen both the Japanese version (Hana Yori Dango) and the Taiwanese version (Meteor Garden), and I probably will watch the chinese version when it's out. Look at this chart though:




compared to all the other Asian ethnicities, why must the boys of China pale so much in comparison? *sadness* [although +1 if you consider Taiwanese boys = Chinese boys too].
Yeah. ... LOL well .. I'm probably going to end up finishing the Korean version either right before summer starts, or at the very beginning of summer. No word when the Chinese version will launch yet, but we'll see, won't we? haha
I think i'll be making myself a drama list for summer, cuz there are so many good ones I want to watch! Any suggestions?

k i think its about time i got to bed. Midterm in less than 8 hours! Wish me luck!

Interesting Convos (:

LOLOL yay CS (:

(11:59:37 PM) godofch33se the computer porgram
(11:59:39 PM) godofch33se we work with in lab
(11:59:47 PM) godofch33se is like a 13 year old girl throwing
(11:59:49 PM) godofch33se bitch fits
(11:59:53 PM) godofch33se its so effing retarded
(11:59:55 PM) s1mplyenchanted LOL
(12:00:00 AM) s1mplyenchanted really? literally?
(12:00:05 AM) s1mplyenchanted so like.. do each of you
(12:00:10 AM) s1mplyenchanted have a 13 year old girl
(12:00:12 AM) s1mplyenchanted like.. tethered
(12:00:14 AM) s1mplyenchanted =d
(12:00:19 AM) godofch33se WE DO ACTUALLY
(12:00:20 AM) godofch33se LOL
(12:00:28 AM) godofch33se but only for computing purposes
(12:00:46 AM) s1mplyenchanted are you sure?
(12:00:54 AM) s1mplyenchanted ey ey *nudge nudge wink wink*
(12:02:01 AM) godofch33se nno
(12:02:03 AM) godofch33se jk
(12:02:04 AM) godofch33se but yes
(12:02:10 AM) godofch33se it resembles a girl in the way
(12:02:10 AM) godofch33se that
(12:02:16 AM) godofch33se its really bitchy
(12:02:21 AM) godofch33se and you just want to hit it
(12:02:25 AM) godofch33se real hard
(12:02:29 AM) s1mplyenchanted hit it?
(12:02:36 AM) godofch33se the computer i mean
(12:02:40 AM) s1mplyenchanted as in you'd hit that?
(12:02:42 AM) s1mplyenchanted ;)
(12:02:51 AM) godofch33se LOL
(12:02:53 AM) godofch33se maybe
(12:02:56 AM) godofch33se hit it as in
(12:02:57 AM) godofch33se inflit
(12:02:59 AM) godofch33se massive amounts
(12:03:02 AM) godofch33se of phsyical pain
(12:03:11 AM) godofch33se god im just digging a deeper hole for myself

Sadly…

I ran into one of my friends in the dining hall yesterday. I had math class with her Fall quarter, but after that, I haven’t seen her much, except when we occasionally arrange lunches together.

I said to her: “omg I haven’t seen you in AGES! We should have dinner again sometime!”

and she said to me: “ I know! I keep thinking… She never calls me! It’s always me calling her. I wonder if she’ll call me if I dont call first. And you know what, you never call!”

 

and I realized that I neglect my friends a lot. I don’t know why, but I simply don’t put enough effort into those relationships. I feel like I need to reassess my priorities, and this time, and take into account who actually appreciates my company, because I feel like I’m wasting a lot of time I could be using to strengthen my bonds with my friends.

decisions decisions.

 

i’m so bored of EVERYTHING :(

I would just like to share….

what has kept me up at night, procrastinating the heck out of everything i need to do:

they’re SOO cute, and SO talented! <3
imo the most ADORABLE are Jong hyun:

and Key

although they’re cute too:

mingho:                                v   and Taemin

okay fine onew is pretty good looking too.                                  ^

… OKAY NO MORE KOREAN BOYS. i need to sleep. and stop youtubing shinEE.

did i mention they all speak fluent English and Chinese? (and Japanese too, for some of them =d)

steven does not approve =X
… but Christina does XP i’m sure

… did I mention that I started watching Boys Over Flowers, which is the Korean version of Hana Yori Dango? Yes, I’ve seen both seasons of Hana Yori Dango, as well as both seasons of the Taiwanese version (Meteor Garden).

… Productivity fail.

Reminiscing

Listening to : Stand by Me – SHINee
Random Thought : My jacket’s here!! I can’t WAIT to get it

Yesterday was Orchesis’s annual production, and I attended as a proud alumni. Watching the dancers float across the stage, scrutinizing the angles of their arms and their facials, I could not help but think of this time last year, when I was the one on that stage, worrying whether the audience was scrutinizing my facials or my movements.

Coming back was a bittersweet experience for me; I never had as close of a relationship with any of the girls that they seemed to have with each other. Although we greeted each other enthusiastically before the show, and congratulated this year’s dancers effusively after the show, there was always a muted awkwardness. Faces that I dreaded seeing last year now wore plastered on smiles, and the excited hugs we gave each other were only formalities, because we had once occupied the same studio and shared the same passion.

Even so, I remembered the hours we spent in that studio, painstakingly refining our timing and our expression of the dances we loved so much. Even though we may have gotten on one another’s nerves, fueled the endless drama that seemed to perpetuate our encounters with one another, in the studio we cast aside our differences and danced together as a whole. In the end it was this unity, this common love of Orchesis that let us overcome our grudges against one another and helped us successfully produce our annual Spring show.

I’m sure this year’s Orchesis had no shortage of obstacles to overcome. Despite my lingering distaste for a few of this year’s members, I’m proud of what they have achieved. It took us a lot of sweat and tears, injuries, ice, tylenol, makeup remover wipes, nasty costumes, and bottles of hair spray to get us where we were this time last year – proud graduating seniors of Orchesis Dance Company 07/08.

It with a sweet fondness of the hours spent in the studio, and a bitterness that I no longer am able to dance the way I used to, that I watched the show last night. I hope the graduating members of Orchesis treasured every moment they had in the studio this year, and realize that Orchesis is not an experience to be taken for granted, because never again will we be able to dance 2 hours a day, and spend almost every day doing something we love as much as dance.

Ebay-ing!!!

So under Melinda’s influence (well.. after reading her blog and then running into her in the bathroom)… I started browsing Ebay vintage. AND I BID ON STUFF FOR THE FIRST TIME! hope i get them! *cross fingers*

neon Nike windbreaker! unfortunately the end time of the auction is somewhere around 5AM Pacific time, so i just set my max bid at 15, and will hope for the best.

Chunky knot ring! It’s KINDA like hte one Melinda wanted, but different at the same time. Like as of two months ago, I began some weird obsession with rings. And now i’m going to confirm that obsession by actually buying one. LOL i’m going to check up on this auction at like.. 8 am tomorrow morning.. and welll.. if i get it i get it if i don’t i dont.

i’m excited!! :D

EDIT** I WON BOTH OF THEM!! XP
the jacket for $15 + free shipping
and the ring for $0.99 + $2.65 shipping.

for the jacket.. iono something weird happened.. like the person I was bidding against bid the same amount as me, but for some weird reason, I won it. LOL yayyyy