Listening to: Bed Rock - Young Money
Random Thought of the Day: a quickie blog and then back to starcraft hehe XP i'm so excited for thursday!
sometimes i feel like theres this other person inside me who is a vindictive pessimistic bitch waiting for my moment of weakness to worm her way out. As much as I hate these types of people, lately she's been taking the reins more and more often. I don't want to be her, and think it's time for me to regain control of my own mentality. Positivity! Yoshhhhh! Therefore to make amends: if I've bashed on you in the last... however many posts, I'm sorry.
also, in related notes:
i don't know if what i've heard is true, but if it is, i'm happy for you. i'm glad things are [hopefully] working out and stuff. ganbaru! ^__^ i'm rooting for ya haha
midnight vchatting is fun heehee... or rather.. midnight vchatting.. that ends up being like.. 4am vchatting <3
spring break has been amazing so far. I think i needed this to clear my head.
24.3.10
20.3.10
origami hydralisks
Listening to: nothing better - postal service
Random Thought of the Day: i refuse to look at any more grades until spring break is over. i've decided to proactively NOT ruin my own bliss.
brief recap of this quarter:
i fucked up.
that's about it... sure, there's things i did right, but for the most part this quarter has been one fuck up after the next. Of course, some of my actions I'm quite proud of (shotgunning right after beer bong? not many small asian girls can say they've done that, i'm sure =d ) but even more are the ones I'd rather would fade away into oblivion and wipe from my memory.
but I definitely learned a lot this quarter, both of what I need to change in myself, and what to expect of other people.
basically it comes down to this:
i need to focus on school, and that's it. dance HAS to take shotgun just because at this point i'll be on academic probation if i keep fucking with my priorities.
and also, as much as i think i need someone, i don't. for the most part i need to wean myself off the expectations that just because someone says they'll do something or they feel something, that's really what they mean. there will be people, but i don't need them. those kinds of relationships are disposable; they come and go with each minor trauma and in the end, nothing changes. as much as i can feel hurt and betrayed and forgotten, life moves on. so why should i bother feeling hurt and betrayed and forgotten? I'd rather be the one that lets go first. so that is how it will be.
time wasted cultivating those types of relationships... i treasure the moments i spend with my TRUE friends more. and i can't believe that i missed out on that until now. i'd rather spend my time on crazy midnight jaunts, dancing to the delirium induced tunes floating from the toneless voices scratchy with academia. and that is how it will be. chicks before dicks, school before tools.
and let me just append this for clarification: you probably don't know this is for you, but I am so fucking angry at you right now.
Random Thought of the Day: i refuse to look at any more grades until spring break is over. i've decided to proactively NOT ruin my own bliss.
brief recap of this quarter:
i fucked up.
that's about it... sure, there's things i did right, but for the most part this quarter has been one fuck up after the next. Of course, some of my actions I'm quite proud of (shotgunning right after beer bong? not many small asian girls can say they've done that, i'm sure =d ) but even more are the ones I'd rather would fade away into oblivion and wipe from my memory.
but I definitely learned a lot this quarter, both of what I need to change in myself, and what to expect of other people.
basically it comes down to this:
i need to focus on school, and that's it. dance HAS to take shotgun just because at this point i'll be on academic probation if i keep fucking with my priorities.
and also, as much as i think i need someone, i don't. for the most part i need to wean myself off the expectations that just because someone says they'll do something or they feel something, that's really what they mean. there will be people, but i don't need them. those kinds of relationships are disposable; they come and go with each minor trauma and in the end, nothing changes. as much as i can feel hurt and betrayed and forgotten, life moves on. so why should i bother feeling hurt and betrayed and forgotten? I'd rather be the one that lets go first. so that is how it will be.
time wasted cultivating those types of relationships... i treasure the moments i spend with my TRUE friends more. and i can't believe that i missed out on that until now. i'd rather spend my time on crazy midnight jaunts, dancing to the delirium induced tunes floating from the toneless voices scratchy with academia. and that is how it will be. chicks before dicks, school before tools.
and let me just append this for clarification: you probably don't know this is for you, but I am so fucking angry at you right now.
11.3.10
coding
Listening to: So Sick - NEYO
Random Thought of the Day: necessity fulfilled? not quite... but still a weird obsession.
yesterday I wrote something pretty brilliant, but then Blogger erased it. I'll take that as a sign that my words were not meant to be written.
it's 4:46... I've been coding for the last 5 hours, and my brain is starting to fizzle. I'm only about 1/4 done but time relentlessly marches on, ever closer to the 9pm deadline I dread so fiercely. I've got homework left undone, the one problem menace that I beg the karma lords will be in my solutions manual. As the seconds tick by and I avoid thinking about trees and hash tables and post-process traversals, I realize I'm kinda hungry. Too bad it's 5 and the cafe's are closed, and the nearest vending machine is two buildings away. Food would mean being locked out; being locked out would mean no more coding. I suppose coding comes first, but my stomach growls.
something makes me wish you were here.
but you are not the you that you'd think I'm referring to.
Last night, I went on a midnight jaunt into blissful forgetfulness. Tonight that joy came from a few words between iterators and nodes. Despite knowing that it's been the wrong one all along, I'll forge forward into a path I know I'll regret. That's life, right? You make your mistakes.
My coffee sits cold and empty on blue painted wood. Next to it, a drained can of Monster.
I last ate five hours ago, last was fulfilled two hours ago, and now I'm starving in every sense of the word.
I suppose its back to the algorithms for me.
Random Thought of the Day: necessity fulfilled? not quite... but still a weird obsession.
yesterday I wrote something pretty brilliant, but then Blogger erased it. I'll take that as a sign that my words were not meant to be written.
it's 4:46... I've been coding for the last 5 hours, and my brain is starting to fizzle. I'm only about 1/4 done but time relentlessly marches on, ever closer to the 9pm deadline I dread so fiercely. I've got homework left undone, the one problem menace that I beg the karma lords will be in my solutions manual. As the seconds tick by and I avoid thinking about trees and hash tables and post-process traversals, I realize I'm kinda hungry. Too bad it's 5 and the cafe's are closed, and the nearest vending machine is two buildings away. Food would mean being locked out; being locked out would mean no more coding. I suppose coding comes first, but my stomach growls.
something makes me wish you were here.
but you are not the you that you'd think I'm referring to.
Last night, I went on a midnight jaunt into blissful forgetfulness. Tonight that joy came from a few words between iterators and nodes. Despite knowing that it's been the wrong one all along, I'll forge forward into a path I know I'll regret. That's life, right? You make your mistakes.
My coffee sits cold and empty on blue painted wood. Next to it, a drained can of Monster.
I last ate five hours ago, last was fulfilled two hours ago, and now I'm starving in every sense of the word.
I suppose its back to the algorithms for me.
8.3.10
Listening to: Love Song - Sara Bareilles
Random Thought of the Day: Alice + 2.5mi + roofclimbing + chess + southpark + battle = another amazing weekend
i've reached the conclusion that guys and girls are just not supposed to be friends
i feel lied to
why is everything always so fucking complicated?
Random Thought of the Day: Alice + 2.5mi + roofclimbing + chess + southpark + battle = another amazing weekend
i've reached the conclusion that guys and girls are just not supposed to be friends
i feel lied to
why is everything always so fucking complicated?
1.3.10
Epic
Listening to: Immaculate Addiction- Seriously
I've been listening to their EP nonstop. Lucky me, I know the bassist, so I got a copy of their CD XP
Random Thought of the Day: funny how we all go crazy
I usually don't blog about events, just because I think people have better things to do than read about what's been up with my life... but this weekend was just too epic.
Thursday: BBAC3A Hangout after the REAL Showdown!
We tore up the stage that thursday, hung out in a sketch old trailer covered in band sticker with fur on the leather seats. Friending the rivals, we bonded over ninjas and popping. Under the stagelights we step forward one by one and bare it all, our souls to the crowd. And then we celebrate the way that things are meant to be celebrated - across 5 tables shoved together end to end, and over bibimbap and duk bo ki.
I love them irvine kids
I think I see them more often at these optional hangouts than some of my own teammates. such dabs ^__^ <3
Friday: Bobaloca
What originally was supposed to be a boba trip ( which first interrupted my EE1 class thursday, but came to fruition friday night) turned into a 4 hour trek through Brentwood and Westwood. I discovered places I didn't know exist, passions I didn't know I had. Hopped the 8 foot chainlink fence to trespass into an elementary school (as much as I wish I could say I didn't need help to do that... I had to have a little shove the first time over :[ ) and played on the jungle gym like when we were 9 and didn't care about anything. Then we gorged on frozen awesomeness, re-discovered the roof of my apartment, and lay beneath thestars clouds. I swear, someday I'm going to go to New Zealand / on an African Safari / snorkle through the great reefs. It was a good night for exchanging our dreams, under the pollution filled sky of the land of opportunity.
Then, a surprise beep on the communication machine that read like music to my ears. Which is how I found myself in a dorm room 30 minutes later, playing my first game of king's cup. Then, we decided to go look for more alcohol, and some energy drinks to make Jager bombs. 10 bucks into the vending machine later, we were running and screaming and laughing through the rain, which shot down almost as fast as we shot forward. We arrived a bit soggy, I'll admit, but a few rounds of Brawl cleared that right up. And then it was time to mix green with brown (well... I tried a bit of Kahlua in Malibu first)... and I have had my first Jagerbomb.
Saturday: TCB
More BBACA loveee, but this time it was a different 3. They were my chariot, or I never would have gone (it was farther than I'd expected). Upon arrival, a room full of strangers met the eye, but alcohol makes friends of everyone. Made friends with the beer pong table, and made our own clique in the corner. Once again, King's Cup was up for play but, halfway through the game the cards were forgotten. One buffalo later, I chugged 2/3 of a beer. Then I shotgunned with my family. 8 tallies on my arm, we swayed to the music of our set and performed in 1 sq foot of space. At 230, on the couch I met the bassist mentioned above. He's quite a good conversationalist and we talk until 4. by then it was a night well spent and we departed satisfied.
Sunday:
at 230am I demonstrated my songwritingskills over skype. I realized that I can actually play guitar and sing! when the song is easy, at least.
A weekend of epic proportions. Why can't every day be like this?
I'M SO HAPPYYYYY ^____^ if it werent for academics, my life would be perfect.
I've been listening to their EP nonstop. Lucky me, I know the bassist, so I got a copy of their CD XP
Random Thought of the Day: funny how we all go crazy
I usually don't blog about events, just because I think people have better things to do than read about what's been up with my life... but this weekend was just too epic.
Thursday: BBAC3A Hangout after the REAL Showdown!
We tore up the stage that thursday, hung out in a sketch old trailer covered in band sticker with fur on the leather seats. Friending the rivals, we bonded over ninjas and popping. Under the stagelights we step forward one by one and bare it all, our souls to the crowd. And then we celebrate the way that things are meant to be celebrated - across 5 tables shoved together end to end, and over bibimbap and duk bo ki.
I love them irvine kids
I think I see them more often at these optional hangouts than some of my own teammates. such dabs ^__^ <3
Friday: Bobaloca
What originally was supposed to be a boba trip ( which first interrupted my EE1 class thursday, but came to fruition friday night) turned into a 4 hour trek through Brentwood and Westwood. I discovered places I didn't know exist, passions I didn't know I had. Hopped the 8 foot chainlink fence to trespass into an elementary school (as much as I wish I could say I didn't need help to do that... I had to have a little shove the first time over :[ ) and played on the jungle gym like when we were 9 and didn't care about anything. Then we gorged on frozen awesomeness, re-discovered the roof of my apartment, and lay beneath the
Then, a surprise beep on the communication machine that read like music to my ears. Which is how I found myself in a dorm room 30 minutes later, playing my first game of king's cup. Then, we decided to go look for more alcohol, and some energy drinks to make Jager bombs. 10 bucks into the vending machine later, we were running and screaming and laughing through the rain, which shot down almost as fast as we shot forward. We arrived a bit soggy, I'll admit, but a few rounds of Brawl cleared that right up. And then it was time to mix green with brown (well... I tried a bit of Kahlua in Malibu first)... and I have had my first Jagerbomb.
Saturday: TCB
More BBACA loveee, but this time it was a different 3. They were my chariot, or I never would have gone (it was farther than I'd expected). Upon arrival, a room full of strangers met the eye, but alcohol makes friends of everyone. Made friends with the beer pong table, and made our own clique in the corner. Once again, King's Cup was up for play but, halfway through the game the cards were forgotten. One buffalo later, I chugged 2/3 of a beer. Then I shotgunned with my family. 8 tallies on my arm, we swayed to the music of our set and performed in 1 sq foot of space. At 230, on the couch I met the bassist mentioned above. He's quite a good conversationalist and we talk until 4. by then it was a night well spent and we departed satisfied.
Sunday:
at 230am I demonstrated my songwriting
A weekend of epic proportions. Why can't every day be like this?
I'M SO HAPPYYYYY ^____^ if it werent for academics, my life would be perfect.
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