Life <3 and Contemplation

Listening to: Offspring
Random Thought of the Day: I wish I were back at LA....
ACA <33333

The last two weeks of school have been AMAZING. Super super busy, but like.. blissfully amazing nonetheless. I met the love of my life (well.. re-met...): dance, and am now a part of the SUPERAWESOME ACA HIP HOP <3. I barely met everyone on the team yesterday, and already I feel like this is going to be a fantastic year, with fantastic people. I'm SO EXCITED for rehearsals to start, so I can spend more time with everyone (and so I can dance, of course!).
Initiation was last night, and while I must be hushhush about the details, it was SUPER fun! I dont think I've been so carefree and unobtrusively outgoing in a WHILE. For a while now I've felt like college has made me shyer, and it's been harder for me to meet and really get to know people. But now, I think that might change, and I'm excited to see whether I'll truly mature and become a better person out of this next year's experiences.
Also, the last two weeks or so, I've been spending pretty much every other night at George's place. (heehee) It's been SUPER fun, since its like.. iono. Pretty much spend the night cooking together (in the last couple days, we've made Croquettes, Tonkatsu, spicy sauteed fish, oyster sauce vegetables, and the guys grilled tri tip when I wasn't there D: D: D: ) and then some sort of sport / video game is always playing on their 60 inch TV (immense jealousy goes here, but at least I get to watch it too LOL ... to compensate for the 24inch TV in my apartment.. =d ). We party together sometimes too, which is also fun. Its kind of like having a lot of brothers.

Which brings me to the Contemplation part of the post:

I realized... I'm really scared of change. While I embrace changing myself for the better, and being ambitious (and the change that comes in that right), I'm scared of the changes I can't control. I'm so satisfied with the way my life is right now that I'm terrified of anything happening to like.. shake up everything. Like... I feel like I'm on a spike where my position is PERFECT, but if I squirm too much I'll fall off or the spike will break. Yet at the same time, I'm not entirely sure that the spike that I'm on is where I should be. haha I don't think I make much sense right now... but I think TJ knows what I mean...


Like... how do you know what perfection feels like, unless you've tasted life without it?

Which brings me to another, very dangerous conclusion:
I feel like I should wreck everything.