origami hydralisks

Listening to: nothing better - postal service
Random Thought of the Day: i refuse to look at any more grades until spring break is over. i've decided to proactively NOT ruin my own bliss.

brief recap of this quarter:
i fucked up.
that's about it... sure, there's things i did right, but for the most part this quarter has been one fuck up after the next. Of course, some of my actions I'm quite proud of (shotgunning right after beer bong? not many small asian girls can say they've done that, i'm sure =d ) but even more are the ones I'd rather would fade away into oblivion and wipe from my memory.
but I definitely learned a lot this quarter, both of what I need to change in myself, and what to expect of other people.
basically it comes down to this:
i need to focus on school, and that's it. dance HAS to take shotgun just because at this point i'll be on academic probation if i keep fucking with my priorities.
and also, as much as i think i need someone, i don't. for the most part i need to wean myself off the expectations that just because someone says they'll do something or they feel something, that's really what they mean. there will be people, but i don't need them. those kinds of relationships are disposable; they come and go with each minor trauma and in the end, nothing changes. as much as i can feel hurt and betrayed and forgotten, life moves on. so why should i bother feeling hurt and betrayed and forgotten? I'd rather be the one that lets go first. so that is how it will be.

time wasted cultivating those types of relationships... i treasure the moments i spend with my TRUE friends more. and i can't believe that i missed out on that until now. i'd rather spend my time on crazy midnight jaunts, dancing to the delirium induced tunes floating from the toneless voices scratchy with academia. and that is how it will be. chicks before dicks, school before tools.

and let me just append this for clarification: you probably don't know this is for you, but I am so fucking angry at you right now.