Pen't In

WORDPRESS!

2010-08-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Our Time Now- Plain White T's
Random Thought of the Day: BOGAN BISCUITS!

Hi friends
i moved to wordpress (:
please visit me at my new home

Purge

2010-08-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Just Like I Remember - Bleed the Dream
Random Thought of the Day: I finally realize why I am, much of the time, what people would call a 'people pleaser'..

I've been on a purging spree recently.
It started with the 'cleanse' (so far, not too hard to keep.. I nixed the 'no gluten' part, otherwise i'd be eating like.. nothing. but yeah.. NO THANKS TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE who keep waving stuff I can't eat in my face! >[ you know who you are.. :( )
Just now, I spent about 1.5 hours cleaning up my music library... so far i've deleted about 5 gigs of music... but I've still got lots to go!
I plan on doing the same with my clothes at some point. I realized... I buy all this stuff that I either NEVER wear, or that I don maybe once or twice before tossing it into the back of my closet (i.e. the section of clothing that never sees the light of day). I'm probably going to donate it or something, just to rid myself of the clutter.
I did the same with my makeup a month or so ago, but that was more to make sure that I'm not using anything that's expired. However, I plan on kinda inventorying my stuff so I don't keep buying the same things.
Funnily enough, this is exactly what my mom keeps telling me, all the time: " you keep buying minutely different versions of the same thing! Why don't you check what you have before you buy more things?"
she is exactly right.

I've been finding out a lot in the last couple years that my parents are very very frequently right.
I guess it's true that you never see the wisdom in a parent's words until you're old enough to understand the rationale.

but anyways. now that i've wasted sufficient time cleaning, its time to get started on some microeconomics!

also, i just realized that i can't make private posts on blogger. thinking about migrating to wordpress..

Detox

2010-08-16T00:28:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Beautiful Things (Gabriel and Dresden Remix) - Andain
Random Thought of the Day: Sleepy, not in Seattle :[

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to do something pretty random:
I am gonna go on a cleanse!
I think its just another way for me to try and structure my life, and teach myself to have more discipline.
Cleaning feels good.... I think despite the fact that I have a hard time organizing my thoughts, its calming to know that ordering things is so simple and mindless. I finally know what people mean when they say cleaning is therapeutic.. haha.

no, i will not clean for you when i get stressed =_=;

so yes. starting tomorrow:
no meat, dairy, whatever veganism entails
super limited amounts of coffee and sugar and alcohol
for the most part, no white carbs. whole grain and brown rice and whatnot is good
lots of fruits and veggies

this means: no froyo, no ice cream, limited amounts of boba, but without the milk tea (not that i ever get that anyways.. black tea ftw!), no pastries, and no morning coffee D:
i think the last one will be the hardest lol

its only 3 weeks.. i hope i last!

i think i kinda fucked my body up last quarter
here's to recovery!

also, gonna try to keep my room clean. =d
i think this will be harder than eating clean..

good music to study to:

2010-08-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

I trekked almost 1.5 miles today to the Borders in Westwood to study. I can never study in my room. Here, now, I am seated in the middle of Seattle's Best Coffee, trying to wean my taste buds off sugar by drinking iced coffee with only soymilk (it's really bitter). Earbuds plugged into my charging netbook (hence, instead of at a table overlooking the busy street I'm forced to sit by a table behind a column - the only table with access to an outlet) my brain's gears tick in time to trance.

Beautiful Things (Gabriel & Dresden's Unplugged Mix) - I could listen to this song forever
Find Yourself ( John O'Callaghan ft Sarah Howells) - the first song that really got me into trance
Love All The Pain Away - Ronski Speed
Man on the Run (Dash Berlin with Cerf, Mitiska & Jaren) - the vocals for this song are amazing

at 12:23pm, I have officially given up on bitter coffee.
at 1:27pm, I try streaming Last.fm on my phone, because the wi-fi at Borders snags a lot
at 1:28pm, I realize my phone's music-playing capabilities are no match for even the laggiest of wi-fi.
I've been listening to Tiesto for the last hour (:

Secretly I'm jealous of those girls who listen to breathy french music and wear camel colored trench coats with black shorts and sky-high ankle boots. They rock breezy layered frayed oversized shirts and fifteen rings on one hand. Pictures of them are usually expertly processed to look vintage, with soft glowing light and slightly desaturated hues. Sometimes I wonder- how do they find so much time to brush grass in meadows and so much money to spend on Prada and Gucci and Proenza Schouler and American Rag and RVCA and Givenchy and I could go on and on and on...
I'm turning green, and it's definitely not from the over-consumption of not-quite-Starbucks.

I write like...

2010-07-27T18:26:00.001-07:00

I found this interesting tool online that takes a sample of your writing and tells you who you write like. So, I took a couple of my old blogs and ran them through the tool. Then i lol'd.

This post got:

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

This post and this post got:

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

and no, i have no idea who that is. but apparently, he's a canadian blogger (joy!), journalist, and science fiction writer who is a regular columnist for Popular Science and MAKE magazine. He also won a bunch of awards.

lolol nicee

this post got:

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

apparently this guy was depressed and committed suicide. He also published infinite jest, which Time named as one of the top 100 English novels since 1923.

This post got:

I write like
William Shakespeare

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

LOL

and then my friend and i typed this in for fun:

"what's crackin a lackin yo I aint seen you in a quick minute. tell ya mom i holla'ed at her. payce. aint no thang but a chicken wang (wing?) out here in the EAST SIDEEEEEE. word to the muthaa fuckaaaa "

which got...

I write like
Mark Twain

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

SHOE LUST

2010-07-21T23:39:00.001-07:00

I had some epic moments of shoe lust at the end of last quarter, but they got pushed to the back of my mind what with finals and stuff... but today, I was at hip hop workshops, and damn, the choreographer had some SICKKKK ass kicks. So yah. my NEEEEED for more shoes is back D:

Yay pictures:

who knew DC made kicks?? but HOT DAMN.

Creative Recreation, of course. UGH too bad they're men's only, and wayyy not my size ;___;

Creative ripoffs by puma, yes. But sexy? yessssssss. and half the price? EVEN BETTERRRR

lol i didnt even know ecko made shoes o.o.. but these are pretty nice. but RED OR BLACKK!!! also.. do they look kinda fat to anyone else?

okay i definitely dont know which iwant.. but one thing is certain

...

my bank account is gonna hurt after today... =X

Listography

2010-07-19T20:23:00.001-07:00

I realized: I really like making lists. Despite the general disorderliness of my general behavior (i.e. my room (or just chores in general), my forgetfulness) I like being well organized. I like scheduling my studying (and, occasionally, deviating completely from said schedules) and planning out things that need to be done. It's just that I seem to never have enough time to finish everything on my list.

But anyways, I realized that I don't really watch movies / TV-Shows that often. I've even stopped reading! D: So I figure I need to make lists of movies i want to see, shows I want to watch, and books I want to read... maybe when I have some spare time (eventually), I can look back on this list and know exactly what I should tackle first? also, if anything on my list is something YOU, yes, YOU either haven't seen, or would like to rewatch, LET ME KNOW! I love movie/TV Show marathons!

Movies

American History X
Star Wars ( 4-6 )
Indiana Jones (i've never watched any of them, ever!)
Garden State
Titanic
Maltese Falcon
American Beauty

Books italicized = own a copy of but have not read... i.e. MUST READ ASAP D:

Atlas Shrugged
Catch-22
Slaughterhouse-Five
Eldest / Brisingr
Lolita
Battlefield Earth
Lord Of The Rings (i tried this once already, but it's wayyy dense. Maybe I'll attempt this again sometime in the future =d )
Heart of Darkness
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (I've read the namesake, but I want to read the rest of the series!)
A Clockwork Orange
Farenheit 451
The Little Prince
Crime and Punishment
A Wrinkle In Time
Grapes of Wrath
Alice in Wonderland
One Hundred Years of Solitude
A Tale of Two Cities
A Thousand Splendid Suns
Life of Pi (actually, I'm like.. 5/6 done with this... maybe i'll just borrow it sometime and kill it =d )
Lovely Bones (I started this too.. but it was so long ago I forgot :[ I need to reread the part I did read D: ]
Middlesex (ack I think i'm on pg 40 of this.. the beginning is really slow... another one of the ones i need to reread from the beginning.. damn it ;___; )

i think i could probably keep on listing forever, but I'll stop now..

TV Showsthis is probably the list of shows I wish I could keep up with, but know I never will be able to ;___;
in other words, this is the list of popular references I wish I understood..

Friends
Gossip Girl (i'm.. uh.. 6 episodes into season 1!)
Pretty Little Liars (I might start this soon!)
Futurama (I think ive watched over a season of this.. I watched an entire season on the way to vegas once =d )
The Office
House
Dollhouse (sounds so cool! )

Animes/Dramasyes, this is a separate category from TV shows.

Full House
1000 Litres of Tears
Iris
Nobuta Wo Produce (sorry Stina! Im still only like.. 5 episodes in D: )
Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Pandora Hearts

hm.. that list was surprisingly short..

Mangasyet another list of stuff I wish I had to keep up with..

Skip Beat (I'm like... 150 chapters into this manga, and then I forgot about it completely for a month! D: )
Nana (I read like.. 200 chapters of this before I stopped.. I feel like if i ever started again, I'd have to reread, just like I reread ALL of naruto..)
Naruto (i think I still remember enough of this to catch up... if i ever have the time. it's getting interesting again! )
Wall Flower

yup. now if you ever feel the want to buy me something ( ;D ) get me something from the above list LOL :D

I HAVENT BLOGGED IN SOOO LONGGG!!!

2010-07-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Stab My Back - AAR Random Thought of the Day: I've been thinking a lot recently @.@ confuzzledness

Continuing the trend of blogging right before midterms, I have a midterm this thursday, and as you can see, i'm blogging, not studying... Although, I'm currently at work, so I suppose I can cut myself some slack.

I'm surprised.. I've been relatively on top of my shit so far this summer. I did every single problem my stats professor assigned (and didnt assign =O ), and I've been, for the most part, consistently reading for CS180. Hopefully I'll be able to continue this trend through the year :] Not to mention, I've still been able to go out almost every night (mostly to Anh's place =d ) and hang out with my friends. yayyyy :D

So... since I haven't blogged in a while, here's a picture anthology of my summer so far! [not very complete :[ I'm, sadly, very inconsistent with the camphone pictures, and I hardly take my SLR out anymore since it's so bulky. I want to take more pictures! D:

in order:
1. Making tapioca for boba! with T. and Y.
2. Shrimp fried rice; for J. A. and S.
3. Break dancers; Santa Monica with S.
4. Alcoholic Rabbits; Costco with Chris
5. Punks; Warped Tour with A., B., and T.
6. Pink's with R.
7. KBBQ; O Dae San with A, J, S. S.
8. Popped Tire; Arcadia with E. S. S. J. A., photo courtesy of J.
9. Soulful Souffle; Arcadia with E. S. S. J. A., photo courtesy of J
10. Saint Motel concert; Hammer Museum with T. and S.
11. Perfect cheesecake; Baked with E. for V. cuuuute :D
12.Babyyyy! <3

Yup! Eventful summer so far! :D And this isn't even the half of it. I'm loving that despite the ridiculous pile of work I have all the time... I still have time to do amazing stuff like this. Yay summer <3

Still looking forward to:
1. A. finally bringing his car
2. Inception on opening night!
3. Marathoning starwars
4. FFXIII + Boba
5. DANCE WORKSHOPS GALOREEEE

yay long post to make up for lack of posting.

camera whore

2010-06-14T12:05:00.001-07:00

since a replacement charger for my dslr finally shipped, and I now have a 5 megapixel camera phone I figure I should put these lenses to use. from now on I will be taking pictures if everything I buy and eat, as well as one random picture for my project 365. if you're interested, they're on my tumblr:

r0mant1k.tumblr.com

let's see how long I can keep this up!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.3.2

entry#100: TL;DR

2010-05-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Mystery - B2ST
Random Thought of the Day: things i dont understand...

I feel like for my 100th post, I should probably write something meaningful. The following entry is probably just going to be an insanely long essay full of stream-of-conscious blathering. I guess, in a way, it'll just be me unloading things that have been on my mind recently, because I feel like my brain has been really crowded as of late.

Life
Recently, a lot of my friends have been going through minor quarter-life crises about what they want to do with their lives. I don't know if it's because they're so worried that I've begun to reconsider, as well, or because it's a concern that I've been suppressing in the back of my own mind. When people ask me what I want to do with my life, a year ago I would have confidently answered, " I want to become a pediatrician," last month I would have remarked with just as much certainty, " I want to work at a startup, and then go back to school and get a MBA." Now, though, I'm torn again- a week ago, I was half-heartedly joking that perhaps I should switch back into Life Sciences, because I seemed to be so much better at it. Is it because I'm worried that my grades won't be good enough for any [particularly, NYU's Stern ] business schools to admit me? Are my various accomplishments indicative of my abilities to do well as an entrepreneur? I have no clue, and it scares me. I'm the type of person who only likes things that I'm good at, and my present major is, to say the least, difficult. A more accurate way to represent how I feel about computer science is that it is a love-hate relationship, filled with "why the hell did I choose this" and " oh my god kill me now" moments. But as much as I despair that CS might be something I really have no aptitude for, it is something I desperately wish to excel at. I feel that the topic suits me - I love technology and learning about how technology works, I love puzzle-solving and seeing pieces of code translate into an almost-tangible change in the programs I write.

On the other hand, I lust after the courage to stray from a well-beaten path. It's kind of funny, and insanely hypocritical, that when others ask for my opinion on whether they should search for a 'conventional' job that they may not like as opposed to following their dreams, I always tell them to follow their dreams. Perhaps that's my way of living vicariously through others - I myself do not have the perseverance necessary to pursue what I really love, so I encourage others who are more dedicated than I, to do so. It seems selfish, pushing others to take the leap of faith when I'm too scared to even look over the cliff, but I wholeheartedly believe in the ability of my friends to achieve their dreams. I, however, wasted half my life chasing pipe dreams and living among the clouds. Maybe that's why I should probably stay away from half-assed truths and stick to the things I know will pull me through life.

I guess for now, I can only stay steadfast to the path I've chosen. In two years, I will be graduating and joining the working force; it is too late for me to waver over minor losses of faith in my ability to do well at CS. I like to think that if I study hard enough, I can accomplish anything I set my mind to... so the first course of action, I suppose, will be to study hard. My parents once told me that the curse of America is that there are too many choices. If you give a person no options, he will eventually grow to like (or at least, be accustomed to) the path picked for him. Maybe, that's what I need to believe in: a steady career that puts food on the table first, loving my job comes later.

People always express their astonishment at the number of things I'm involved in. Shoot, sometimes, I'm astonished too, and ask myself, "how the hell did I wind up in this position?" The answer is probably either, I'm not good at saying No, or I'm too ambitious for my own good. I realize what I'm getting myself into probably won't be pretty, but when faced with the prospects of having to cut certain extracurriculars out of my life, I'm at a loss. I couldn't possibly imagine how I'd live without dancing; at the same time, I want to be involved in UPE and TBP because they're the extracurriculars that will help me the most in my future career. I can't possibly stop working, because I need the money, but how many jobs do I need - two, three, four - before i'm satisfied? I feel like, at some point, the sheer volume of the things I need to do might just overwhelm me, but as of right now, I'm happy being busy. Until that time, I'm going to try my best to balance as much as I can.

Love
I have nothing to say on this matter.
Well I do, but I'm just confused for now.
and i'm kind of pissed at myself. But that's another story.

In Between
I just read through the last 99 entries of my blog. It took an hour. My life for the past year, in one hour. I guess what I've summed it all up to be is: I used to be happy, and then I was hella-fucking-emo, and then now I'm moodswingy. I suppose its because I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Over the last 99 jumbled, rambling, 10 word to essay-long entries, I've become darker, more cynical, more lost. As much as I want to say that I don't like it, I've said that before. But I think I'm slowly changing for the better. Or, I hope.

I hope that in the next 100 posts, i will overall become a better person, like the person in my absolute favorite post of the last 99.

Why is the editor on blogger.com when the doman is user.blogspot.com?

2010-05-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

Listening to: My TA drone on about encryption and threat protection
Random Thought of the Day: mmmm popcorn...

I feel like lately, I don't have much to say. School is almost over, and with that comes the end of another chapter of my life. Time marches relentlessly on, endless days pass where I am awake, asleep, unconscious, and then awake again, and events are disjointed in my mind in some grotesque Gaussian blur. I've lost sense of continuance, that four comes after two and between three and five. Months seem like minutes, minutes seem like hours, days fly by like seconds, and all of a sudden I realize that a week has passed, and I'm waking up on a Sunday morning, not a Friday afternoon.

Something must be wrong with me, or is this a byproduct of every hasty college student's life? The buzzing in my brain plays like a deaf man's orchestra, muting all lucid thoughts from traipsing through my conscious. I'm sapped of my creativity. I stare blankly at the ghost of an article, almost as blankly as I stare at math, and despair that inspiration fails to visit me yet again. The pen, held so resolutely in an uplifted hand, is replaced reluctantly, and the click clicking of the mouse resumes. If I distract myself, perhaps a lurking shred of insight will float into my brain?

It's too late/early; I'm not thinking straight.

summer plans
warped tour + road trip with TJ
anime expo with Steven
FILM FESTS with lots of different people - no procrastination, i WILL finally watch star wars [among craploads of other movies]
san diego for kait's partayyy?
learn more japanese / learn some korean!

excited to finally have some [ish] free time!

:]

2010-05-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Random music being played at kerckhoff
Random Thought of the Day: just ordered a red-eye for the first time at Kerckhoff. omnomnom caffeine!

I keep thinking that it's been ages since I last posted, but in reality it's only been 10 days... Its been a crazy hectic week, what with practice, projects, and all sorts of requirements for upcoming inductions. In fact, in about 20 minutes, I'll be heading off to Royce to complete the "Attend one professional event" requirement for Tau Beta Pi. But despite being so mind-bogglingly busy, I think I enjoy the look of an agenda page packed with scrawls of to-dos and events. It gives me a sense of purpose. Although it's probably not the best way to find a 'calling,' so far I've felt like my year was pretty fulfilling, as far as extracurriculars go. Academics, not so much... but I'll not get into that.

Last night, I played speed uno with a bunch of my friends. It was pretty spontaneous, since I was supposed to be working on a CS project, but since I've never really hung out socially with this group of friends before, I went along just for the ride. Even though everyone was kind of coupled off and I was the seventh wheel (lollll) it was still uber fun! I'm once again feeling that sense of belonging and satisfaction that I haven't felt since... well... a while... at least, in such a large group. Having been a floater most of my life, not ever 'belonging' in a group has been a stigma for me as long as I can remember. But I think I've found a niche that I really feel comfortable in, with people I really identify with (maybe it's cuz 4 of us are CS majors LOL...) and enjoy being around.

With that said, I'm looking forward to the coming months. Finals is gonna be a bitch, as always, but I'm gonna prep early, and prep well, so I'll be prepared. I'll take a leaf out of Jessica's book and front load my work, so hopefully I wont have to end up pulling multiple all nighters again D: And then... it'll be FREEDOMM! I can't freaking WAIT. My warped tour ticket is pinned to my bulletin board, and I've got an egg of a helluva vacation plan, just waiting to hatch. I'M SO PUMPED!

Here's to good friends, good fun, and HELLA ANTICIPATION FOR SUMMERRRRRRR!!

2010-05-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Nevershoutnever [in preparation for warped tour!]
Random Thought of the Day: lately i've been having the same recurring dream: wading through sewers, escaping from some sort of monster, and swimming through a underground tunnel towards the faint beams of light. I don't remember ever breaking the surface, though.

it's getting harder to breathe now
there are too many idle moments
idle dangerous moments
it's so tempting to think how easy
how simple it would be just
never again to wake
never smell the light of day
i smile, i cringe
on the inside, i'm haunted by little things
choices choices choices
to be or not to be
is that the question? or
is that escape?

is this my fate?

2010-04-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Nevershoutnever! Possibly my new favorite artist
Random Thought of the Day: I should probably be in my math class right now

I've always wondered... does fate exist?
this is a matter I contemplated last night,
as I painted adhesive on
many loose strings
how lives intertwine and paths collide
if a split second's difference can steel one's gut
or a casual conversation change your life

I never imagined I'd meet
one of my closest friends on a improbable whim

cultured by Disney,
I thought that in life:
if things are meant to be,
life will veer itself back on track
like atoms in a dual chamber capsule will
tend towards equilibrium.
and though for a while I was
disillusioned
lately, I think, I've been looking back
and discovering the truths of my past convictions

真的舍不得

2010-04-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Guilty- Usher
Random Thought of the Day: 这样的人生.。。。太可怜了吧？

想不起来当时我列给你的原因了
是不是我失去了我的原则,
想找到的方向离我越来越远
本来想忘记你的声音
忘了你的温柔就够了
没想到.。。。我还是忘不了你.

lack of sleep is getting to my head.

on other recent notes
go read david's blog. sums up a pretty epic night haha
except he forgot to mention that TJ and I totally own him at pipe scaling. ninja ftw!

Long Time No Blog!

2010-04-05T05:02:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Qing Tian - Jay Chou
Random Thought of the Day: slightly dizzy from hookah @.@

hm... every time i have a resolution to blog more often it ends up not working out =d but anyways.
first week is over with! I've been so much more productive than usual... I wonder if that's because I'm really trying to change myself, or whether this is just the usual burst of first-week adrenaline that slowly fades off as school becomes more of a regularity. I hope it's the former.

but anyways. things have been interesting. my life is such a laundry list of eclectic activities. I've been having hell week for hip hop, yet I still found time to sit around with beers at 4 in the morning with mikey and ray. I realized that I really like talking to people that are much older than I am... they're usually much more insightful and/or opinionated.

I think I changed.

But anyways. I wonder if it's okay yet =d
I have 10am class tomorrow, and here I am blogging at 5am. Typical me... I always pick the most inconvenient times to blog.

Another epiphany: i think i like being busy partially because life is so much less complicated when you barely have time to think straight. It's pretty mechanical, running from one thing to the next, but at least you always know: when one thing is over, there'll always be something else waiting for you.

and then a serious question: how do you make friends with people? so frustrating..

Starcraft!

2010-03-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Bed Rock - Young Money
Random Thought of the Day: a quickie blog and then back to starcraft hehe XP i'm so excited for thursday!

sometimes i feel like theres this other person inside me who is a vindictive pessimistic bitch waiting for my moment of weakness to worm her way out. As much as I hate these types of people, lately she's been taking the reins more and more often. I don't want to be her, and think it's time for me to regain control of my own mentality. Positivity! Yoshhhhh! Therefore to make amends: if I've bashed on you in the last... however many posts, I'm sorry.

also, in related notes:
i don't know if what i've heard is true, but if it is, i'm happy for you. i'm glad things are [hopefully] working out and stuff. ganbaru! ^__^ i'm rooting for ya haha

midnight vchatting is fun heehee... or rather.. midnight vchatting.. that ends up being like.. 4am vchatting <3
spring break has been amazing so far. I think i needed this to clear my head.

origami hydralisks

2010-03-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

Listening to: nothing better - postal service
Random Thought of the Day: i refuse to look at any more grades until spring break is over. i've decided to proactively NOT ruin my own bliss.

brief recap of this quarter:
i fucked up.
that's about it... sure, there's things i did right, but for the most part this quarter has been one fuck up after the next. Of course, some of my actions I'm quite proud of (shotgunning right after beer bong? not many small asian girls can say they've done that, i'm sure =d ) but even more are the ones I'd rather would fade away into oblivion and wipe from my memory.
but I definitely learned a lot this quarter, both of what I need to change in myself, and what to expect of other people.
basically it comes down to this:
i need to focus on school, and that's it. dance HAS to take shotgun just because at this point i'll be on academic probation if i keep fucking with my priorities.
and also, as much as i think i need someone, i don't. for the most part i need to wean myself off the expectations that just because someone says they'll do something or they feel something, that's really what they mean. there will be people, but i don't need them. those kinds of relationships are disposable; they come and go with each minor trauma and in the end, nothing changes. as much as i can feel hurt and betrayed and forgotten, life moves on. so why should i bother feeling hurt and betrayed and forgotten? I'd rather be the one that lets go first. so that is how it will be.

time wasted cultivating those types of relationships... i treasure the moments i spend with my TRUE friends more. and i can't believe that i missed out on that until now. i'd rather spend my time on crazy midnight jaunts, dancing to the delirium induced tunes floating from the toneless voices scratchy with academia. and that is how it will be. chicks before dicks, school before tools.

and let me just append this for clarification: you probably don't know this is for you, but I am so fucking angry at you right now.

coding

2010-03-11T04:54:00.000-08:00

Listening to: So Sick - NEYO
Random Thought of the Day: necessity fulfilled? not quite... but still a weird obsession.

yesterday I wrote something pretty brilliant, but then Blogger erased it. I'll take that as a sign that my words were not meant to be written.

it's 4:46... I've been coding for the last 5 hours, and my brain is starting to fizzle. I'm only about 1/4 done but time relentlessly marches on, ever closer to the 9pm deadline I dread so fiercely. I've got homework left undone, the one problem menace that I beg the karma lords will be in my solutions manual. As the seconds tick by and I avoid thinking about trees and hash tables and post-process traversals, I realize I'm kinda hungry. Too bad it's 5 and the cafe's are closed, and the nearest vending machine is two buildings away. Food would mean being locked out; being locked out would mean no more coding. I suppose coding comes first, but my stomach growls.

something makes me wish you were here.
but you are not the you that you'd think I'm referring to.
Last night, I went on a midnight jaunt into blissful forgetfulness. Tonight that joy came from a few words between iterators and nodes. Despite knowing that it's been the wrong one all along, I'll forge forward into a path I know I'll regret. That's life, right? You make your mistakes.

My coffee sits cold and empty on blue painted wood. Next to it, a drained can of Monster.
I last ate five hours ago, last was fulfilled two hours ago, and now I'm starving in every sense of the word.
I suppose its back to the algorithms for me.

2010-03-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Love Song - Sara Bareilles
Random Thought of the Day: Alice + 2.5mi + roofclimbing + chess + southpark + battle = another amazing weekend

i've reached the conclusion that guys and girls are just not supposed to be friends
i feel lied to

why is everything always so fucking complicated?

Epic

2010-03-01T11:47:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Immaculate Addiction- Seriously

I've been listening to their EP nonstop. Lucky me, I know the bassist, so I got a copy of their CD XP

Random Thought of the Day: funny how we all go crazy

I usually don't blog about events, just because I think people have better things to do than read about what's been up with my life... but this weekend was just too epic.

Thursday: BBAC3A Hangout after the REAL Showdown!
We tore up the stage that thursday, hung out in a sketch old trailer covered in band sticker with fur on the leather seats. Friending the rivals, we bonded over ninjas and popping. Under the stagelights we step forward one by one and bare it all, our souls to the crowd. And then we celebrate the way that things are meant to be celebrated - across 5 tables shoved together end to end, and over bibimbap and duk bo ki.
I love them irvine kids
I think I see them more often at these optional hangouts than some of my own teammates. such dabs ^__^ <3

Friday: Bobaloca
What originally was supposed to be a boba trip ( which first interrupted my EE1 class thursday, but came to fruition friday night) turned into a 4 hour trek through Brentwood and Westwood. I discovered places I didn't know exist, passions I didn't know I had. Hopped the 8 foot chainlink fence to trespass into an elementary school (as much as I wish I could say I didn't need help to do that... I had to have a little shove the first time over :[ ) and played on the jungle gym like when we were 9 and didn't care about anything. Then we gorged on frozen awesomeness, re-discovered the roof of my apartment, and lay beneath the ~~stars~~ clouds. I swear, someday I'm going to go to New Zealand / on an African Safari / snorkle through the great reefs. It was a good night for exchanging our dreams, under the pollution filled sky of the land of opportunity.

Then, a surprise beep on the communication machine that read like music to my ears. Which is how I found myself in a dorm room 30 minutes later, playing my first game of king's cup. Then, we decided to go look for more alcohol, and some energy drinks to make Jager bombs. 10 bucks into the vending machine later, we were running and screaming and laughing through the rain, which shot down almost as fast as we shot forward. We arrived a bit soggy, I'll admit, but a few rounds of Brawl cleared that right up. And then it was time to mix green with brown (well... I tried a bit of Kahlua in Malibu first)... and I have had my first Jagerbomb.

Saturday: TCB
More BBACA loveee, but this time it was a different 3. They were my chariot, or I never would have gone (it was farther than I'd expected). Upon arrival, a room full of strangers met the eye, but alcohol makes friends of everyone. Made friends with the beer pong table, and made our own clique in the corner. Once again, King's Cup was up for play but, halfway through the game the cards were forgotten. One buffalo later, I chugged 2/3 of a beer. Then I shotgunned with my family. 8 tallies on my arm, we swayed to the music of our set and performed in 1 sq foot of space. At 230, on the couch I met the bassist mentioned above. He's quite a good conversationalist and we talk until 4. by then it was a night well spent and we departed satisfied.

Sunday:
at 230am I demonstrated my songwriting ~~skills~~ over skype. I realized that I can actually play guitar and sing! when the song is easy, at least.

A weekend of epic proportions. Why can't every day be like this?
I'M SO HAPPYYYYY ^____^ if it werent for academics, my life would be perfect.

:]

2010-02-25T16:33:00.000-08:00

Listening to: How I Go- Yellowcard
Random Thought of the Day: SHOWDOWN TONIGHTT!!! yayy I get to chill with the bba boys =]

some distinctly unrelated thoughts:

4 and counting
ahahahhaah
what a ho
boba!
i like being babied =d
PRODUCTIVEMORNINGSFTW
long fb msg chains <3
love letter ^__^
< month

Wheeeee!!

2010-02-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Bed Rock - Young Money
Random Thought of the Day: i hope shotgunning caffiene right before napping really does work!

Once again, i'm blogging at the most inconvenient of times. My EE midterm is tomorrow, and as of right now I really don't feel confident. It doesn't help that I kinda tanked the first midterm, and am now banking on this one to drag my grade back up... but oh well... I guess it can't really be helped.

So much change in the last couple weeks! Not all of it good, but it's okay. Things will end up how they should be. At least, I would hope so. Theres been lots of new and old people, lots of fun! Definitely not enough time

** update **

Since I wrote this like... on wednesday night, and then never published it, i'm just going to keep the above intact.
This new one is written on the day before my CSM51A midterm AND the due date of my CS32 project.. As usual, I havent started either.
This weekend has been super exciting and super exhausting. I learned that too much of a good thing is definitely not something I like to have... I'm so tired of [some of] my teammates right now, and so tired of the fucking situation i'm in... regarding shit.

but yeah. since i'm in a poetry kind of mood, which I always am when i have shit on my mind... here goes nothing.

they used to be welcome here
cheerful phantoms and mourning ghosts
at least i am accompanied for
together we are one
not so surely anymore as i weary of the
growing mold
like anemone they cling and though
usually a corpse cares not for the disease it carries
the more they sprout the more
i'm revolted
or ing, i suppose, i am the cause of their wealth
as neither coffin nor dirt will keep them out
knocking, knocking
here they come again
those ghouls that feed so delightfully on the
crust of my remains

they're pulling me apart
can't you see
my flesh curling and burning in the wake of their spit
yet all the same
i deserve this demotion
this ungraceful rest after an untimely death
for who am i to resist them? who
can deny nature its last solemn wish?

that was horrible and made no sense
sorries

2010-02-09T21:15:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Roses and But - Making April
Random Thought of the Day: being able to see life pulsing through someone's veins is like.. the coolest thing.

estoy practicar espanol para hablar en espanol con mi roommate TJ. Nosotros hablamos en espanol por trienta minutos. Creo que yo estoy mejorando.

^ broken grammar.

outlook

2010-02-08T03:18:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Shots - LMFAO ft. Lil Jon
Random Thought of the Day: no experiences can amount

positivity
dedication
passion
efficiency
organization

2010-01-28T22:33:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Easier to Run - Linkin Park
Random Thought of the Day: asldkhfalshdf taking hiphop class <3

i've replaced one thing with another
dono if thats smart or not..

so many things to say...

******* makes the time goes faster

stupid

2010-01-28T02:28:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Rediscovering my love for hard rock
Random Thought of the Day: time to bring back punk?

i'm happy i think?
but not really
throwing myself into dance
is what i should have been doing all along

i guess i'm less happy
than i am satisfied / appeased.

something stupid again.

I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me

2010-01-25T18:09:00.000-08:00

Listening to:
Random Thought of the Day:

i passed a store in a westwood that made me think of him
unwittingly i bought 2 jars of his favorite hotsauce
and i'm not even super into that crunchy pepper oil stuff
I have to keep changing songs because sometimes
I accidentally find myself listening to those old songs

i have some lyrics for him

leave me out with the waste
this is not what i do
this is the wrong kind of place
to be thinking of you

i wonder if someone will pass it on
already i'm nervous and i wonder

if that's allright, yeah
if i give my gun away when its loaded
is that alright, yeah
if you don't shoot it how am i supposed to hold it?

on a brighter note
here's a twitter documenting my and my roommates' random idiocy.
good times

clever is my specialty

2010-01-25T00:06:00.000-08:00

Listening to: When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne
Random Thought of the Day: I made my first official playlist ever today. it's all emo shit.

what the fuck is wrong with me
i've been trying to study since 3pm and I've read 5 lines
standing and sitting and then standing again because
when i sit my legs feel like jello
and when i stand i'd feel like sitting would make me less dizzy
wanting to sleep it all away, waste away
without appetite and conviction
a moment too late
wondering if i faded away, would you feel a thing?
i'm willing to test it, and i wonder
how far can i push myself
its like
determination vs deterioration

2010-01-22T15:25:00.000-08:00

Listening to: random oldies that peter is playing in the office
Random Thought of the Day: where's a squirtle when you need one?

lol
i don't ususally write short entries
when i do...

2010-01-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
Random Thought of the Day:I keep hearing Usher- Burn everywhere, even though that song is wayy old. hence, its now been stuck in my head for 3 days.
... great..

i wrote a little poem and it goes a lil something like this:

dirty dirty bitch slut slut whore dirty dirty
cunt cunt don't you want to run run
run away from everything, anything
things you can't pretend
to understand,
stand and curtsy for the times you
made them worry for you

midterm cramming already?

2010-01-19T04:58:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Cable Car Stars via Myspace
Random Thought of the Day: ;____; E = F what?

i'm a tired girl
tired but happy :]

Friends

2010-01-17T10:27:00.001-08:00

click click click click
obsessive fingers tapping across
a plate of glass or
plastic pushpins
waiting for empty promises or drunken jibberish
every mumble scrutinized and
every sorry letter picked apart
twitching and tapping
no amount of continual fixation
will force you to reveal yourself
i lust
no
crave
just playful meaningless nothing
until i realize
i'm just another among twenty
waiting for the same.

2010-01-12T16:41:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Empty Apartment - Yellowcard
Random Thought of the Day: I'm in a weird kinda mood nowadays

bubbles and foam
choke
whirl and spin
forgotten
the bottle breaks

.nekorb eb ot tnaem era sedoc ruoy teb i
697 wq6 697 697 e9h5 y8e3 6974 r33o8htw g75 8 5y8hi 697 y8e3 5y3j j943 5yqh 8 e9

...
why do you think you can read me like an open book
vyr u bwcwe jbiq qhra ib tiye nubs.

i dont think its cuz i'm not as perceptive...

2010-01-08T03:59:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Alicia Keys - Thats How Strong My Love Is
Random Thought of the Day: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO D:

alcohol + 3 hours + pocky + cookies + spilled 7 dollar coke + love doll + yuck + 9am

=
I can't believe its 4am and I still have CS homework to do...

Happy New Years!

2010-01-01T03:09:00.000-08:00

Listening to: b2st
Random Thought of the Day: i kinda want school to start!

to be honest,
sometimes i hate the part of me that condones those things
those stupid disgusting things

this year i have one resolution only
stop making excuses.

you can want whatever the fuck you want
but you can't just sit around talking and wanting and not doing for forever
at some point, you have to make an honest attempt
so i'm going to stop making excuses for why i'm failing at all the wrong things
and i'm going to just do the things that need to be done.

that's the starting point for everything, anyways.

to quote Steven: i officially declare this year a year of asskicking

Vegas

2009-12-30T19:42:00.000-08:00

Listening to: TJ's blog XP
Random Thought of the Day: Time to recap my year?

I decided not to take any concrete pictures in Vegas. SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT ANY OF THESE THINGS ARE!?

I wrote a really long story about vegas
maybe i'll post it some other time
when i don't have so many long posts queued.

2009-12-23T01:32:00.000-08:00

sorry that last one was stupid

i'm having trouble sitting still

Contemplation

2009-12-22T00:29:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Wedding Dress - Tae Yang
Random Thought of the Day: I haven't blogged in awhile. I feel like I'm neglecting my blog :[ sorrie bloggg...

I have been thinking a lot about random things the last week.
I suppose I am unloading more than anything, because these things
are things that people wouldn't want to listen to
these are boring things that mean the world to me:

Beautiful things pain me because I wish I could, but know I never will be able to produce something nearly as wonderful
Perfection scares me because things are never as they seem
I have this unquenched yearning to be a complete control freak
at least... on the things that matter
I carry a little black book because it makes me feel like I am making progress
but all I do is scribble in its margins and draw meaningless pictures
so really it is more unproductive than it is productive.

you make me happy
but you also make me mad
you make me blabber like a child
i'm still wondering if we've changed at all

love is horrible
it really does drive you mad
and make you into a quivering, helpless mess when the thing you need most is control
discipline
i wish i had more of it, so i can stop myself from craving your voice
your touch and your warmth
four days and i miss it already, as if you've been gone a year
but in a month you will be gone for a year
maybe that's why i'm already lost

or maybe it is because i'm scared
these four days without you
i'm wilting, yet you seem completely unfazed, freer, even
like you don't need me like i need you
is that the truth, then? people don't change
maybe i should just let myself down easy and
chalk it up to mood swings. yes, that's it. I have
temper issues and hormonal imbalances and am way too clingy for my own good
tell me i'm being unnecessary, normal people don't act like this
tell me you haven't forgotten me and i'll give you the world
no, half the world to make up your mind.
i'm not the only one going crazy, am i?

the things i write are full of cliches
but thats what makes cliches cliche, because they are familiar to everyone
the same old sob story
what have i to complain about?
i have food, a family, a home, friends, toys, clothes
i have everything that 90% of the world would die to have
but here i am worrying about a few silly numbers
because 0.2 can make me or break me

but i've already broken, havent I?
I've lost to the relentless pressures of academia, i've converted to your dogmas
give me 10 weeks and I shall pay homage to your twisted shrines
and burn friendships and memberships to keep you appeased
or you can take me down with you to your 7th level hell
and i'll rot for all eternity
because thats where 0.2 leaves me
broken.

screaming
thats all i hear now, screaming
the only one who understands me is too small to matter
and i pity her because she must endure longer than I
I who escape to the relative safety of a far away place
but she, who has nowhere to run
even as I scream back I bleed for her
i might pout at her shiny toys but at least
i had it good
there was no screaming when i was her
i wonder if she is like me at all
whether she curls up at night like i used to do and
thinks about darkness and the welcoming cold
i would wish that on no one
but i wouldn't be surprised

in a way i feel like i tell it all
because i can hide in transparency
let me be a chameleon... you think you know me
but i disappear, and just when you've found
my prickly shadow, I become something else.

or maybe i've realized that
though i don't mind confessing what's on my mind
99% of the time no one is listening
and i am speaking once again
to empty pixels.

The Trichotomy of my Taste

2009-12-10T12:28:00.000-08:00

I have very diverse tastes.
In fact, I believe if you pull me apart and separate my interests and activities into distinct groups, I may well be four different people in one body. I find this a very interesting concept, so in the next (few) posts I'm going to see if I can do just that - separate this things I like into different categories, and see just how different my 'personalities' are... =d

The dark
I actually really really enjoy macabre art.actually, let me rephrase that. I have a weird fascination with it.
Sometimes, I wish I could pull this look off:
Or dress like this without being gawked at...

Things I like include :

I think I'm growing out of my skulls and crossbones phase though. Especially when mixed with pink~~ so childish! I'd like to think that my taste is becoming more refined and elegant..

.. but in the end, punk is punk.
just keep it out of the trash, kids, and pull down that skirt.

The Untold of Tantalus

2009-12-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Jen's cooing over Nickkhun biting a napkin.
....

Random Thought of the Day: TIME TO STUDIESSS!!!

this is a story i wrote like.. sometime last year, to a flash fiction challenge. Flash fiction is when they give you a one word topic, and you ahve 60 minutes to write a short story. This is, I believe, the second I've ever written, and I really liked it, for some reason. I really like it when people take popular/well known stories, and write backstories, a la Wicked, and I tried to play off that. Enjoy?

The Untold of Tantalus

Do you know what they never told you about prison? That you are forced to reform because there is so much time to think about what you’ve done “wrong.”
I’ve been here six hundred, eighty four days, give or take a week. I spent the last, almost two years in various uncomfortable positions in my cramped cell, and I have thought endlessly of why I am here.
You know, they never really reward the saints. Those who do good are ultimately cast into flame, to be put on a pedestal and worshiped after death. For example, look at Joan of Arc, and where saving France got her- the funeral pyre, where she was tried and executed as a heretic. I am another of those saints of sorts; perhaps in a decade or two, after they give me the electric chair, I too will be immortalized and proclaimed as a hero.
I am here because I have gone about doing good the wrong way. Perhaps in forging my path to a better life for my family has caused me to go grossly off the road of righteousness.
But I am not sorry.
My son is better off now, and that is what I was aiming for. At all costs to myself, I have managed, finally, to provide for him what I could not before. And I know it may sound strange to you, hearing about it now, perhaps grimacing at what you perceive as an atrocity, indescribably horrible, but you will come to understand.
I was a caring father, you see. My children were the joy of my life. I worked hard every day in the mines of Phrygia, raising a fortune for them to spend. Niobes was my favorite son- I gave him everything he wanted, and sometimes, much, much more.
There was one dream of his, though, that I could not hope to achieve.
My ambitious son, recklessly envious of my birth – for I am the son of a god – claimed that it was his right to be as the gods were: immortal. I tried desperately to convince him that no good would come of it. His family would wither while he bloomed, his loved ones and friends would all die while he prospered and none would share his triumph, and any small amount of grief or ecstasy or success would be trivial, for he would have an eternity of them to spare; and what is the essence of life but those small shares of grief, ecstasy, and success? But he heeded me not. He demanded that I find a route to his immortality, and I could not refuse. I admit that in the course of his upbringing I have spoiled him, and thus caused him to believe I could produce anything he wished, if only he had a true longing for it. He had a pure, unbridled, ferocious longing for immortality.
There was no way around it. I could not let myself fail my son, so I tried my hardest to procure for him a way to achieve his dream.
It started with the ambrosia. Being half-god meant I was frequently invited to dine in Olympus, where ambrosia was plentiful, and where, I thought, no one would notice if a droplet or two went missing. Ambrosia is the food of the gods, and thus I believed it would develop god-like qualities in my son if he were to partake in the holy feast. I borrowed one goblet-full of nectar, for I had the intention of returning it in the form of a new god.
My son drank it greedily, saving less than a quarter of the precious liquid for his mother and other brothers. His form grew brighter and the life in him flared, his eyes shone with the light of success.
Alas, two days later, he fell sick. The richness of ambrosia was not meant for mortal mouths, and it overwhelmed his body. He grew close to death, spoke in his dreams of terrors and monsters and swords, screamed of failure. When he recovered, he blamed his ailment on me, that I brought the poison which almost killed him. I could not reply- I thought it was his greed that wrought his plight, and it was lucky he did not drink the whole cup – but I thought it would be better to hold still my tongue.
For the moment, Niobes was too afraid of further repercussions to bid me try another way, but with time, his caution faded and his lust for immortality grew. Thus, I was told to make another attempt.
It was around the same time that the gods scheduled their call on me. Having not heard from me in the three months proceeding that dinner, and having gotten over their anger at my misbehavior, they decided to check up on me, per say.
It was my son’s idea, you see. I could not be moved to end my own son’s life, for to shed his life-blood would be to shed my own; to carve out his heart would be to cast the match on my funeral pyre. I knew that, knew it surely as I knew his plan would succeed.
I am a devoted father, and I would do everything for my child.
And so it was, on the eve of their visit, I boiled this devilish brew that would give my son his greatest wish. With every stroke of my knife, I shed countless tears that my hands were stained with his blood, that his flesh now graced my cutting board, that the hellfires of the stove would consume what was my son. It was not his sacrifice, but my own. He would not know how it tore my heart to be the taker of his life, but he had insisted, and I could do naught but comply.
I knew the gods had seen our deed, but blind sighted by their warped perception of justice, I was the persecuted. I did not complain, for I had foreseen my punishment; as I watched from afar the resurrection of my son and his newly achieved immortality, I was appeased.
I have discarded every shard of morality and of faith in order to provide the most I could for the ones I loved. Here, now, I am alone. Niobes, carried by the euphoria of his achievements, forgets he has an old, sickly father rotting in jail. My wife has forsaken me, for she believes that I am selfish, that I treat the favor of the gods above my own child’s life. My other sons, angry that I would not sacrifice so for them, have deserted me in spite.
You see now, I am utterly alone. You are the only one I may trust with my confessions, the one person who knows that I was not wicked. When I am cast into the Underworld to be forever taunted by Hades’ cruelty, you will be the bearer of my one redemption.
You believe me, do you not?

a belated I AM THANKFUL!

2009-11-30T02:36:00.000-08:00

Listening to: the humming of electronics
Random Thought of the Day: mmmm photoshop. i wish i could learn japanese. or korean.

i'm thankful for....

a boyfriend who is always understanding, especiallly of the fact that my life revolves around ACA LOL
my parents, for dropping off food and medicine for me at 7am on a work day, and for respecting and trusting the decision i make
my best friends, who are always there for me, regardless of many miles are between us, and how much i (accidentally) neglect them.
my amazing roommates, who never cease to put a smile on my face, show up randomly with boba, and try (unsuccessfully) to make me study
my boyfriend's roommates, who are like brothers to me, and carry me home and sing taylor swift together to keep me awake when i have too much fun with them at parties =X
my (unrelated) brothers, for always protecting me and babying me, even though i see them like.. four times a year. (especially michael, who drives all the way from irvine to visit <3)
UCLA, and at all the amazing experiences it has given me
America, and the chance to grow up here
my body, which, luckily, is whole and strong, and puts up with all the abuse i put it through (yay dance)
technology... otherwise i can't be a computer science major, right? XP
an awesome, spectacular, better than words could ever express second family at LA, who share my deepest love (dance) with me until the wee hours of the morning, in the most inconvenient (or... convenient..) of places (yeahh parkin lots!)
the coords, who toil to no end to make us the BEST TEAM EVARRRR
the alumni, who take time out of their schedules to read our spam and visit us and choregraph for us <3
and finally, all the people i met through ACA hiphop this year, who are willing to pull crazy all nighters studyin and make 1am bcafe runs and swipe me for food and take 5 hours bus rides with me to go get our ears pierced and look for my dinner when i leave it at work and make weird poses with me at photoshooot and drive me home after practice... well it goes on..

I LOVE EVERYONEE!!!

I need to shower in disinfectant

2009-11-19T13:45:00.000-08:00

Listening to: Tears Into Wine - Billy Talent
Random Thought of the Day: I really really REALLY should be studying

I just cooked lunch, and realized that all my utensils were gone, but I couldnt get a few out of the sink cuz they were buried under a week's worth of dishes in the sink. Yes, I know that I'm culpable of forgetting to wash my dishes, but seriously?

I decided to wash everyone's dishes, cuz honestly I was pissed that no one else took the initiative to do it. Especially because I've already done everyone's dishes, like twice.

First of all, the pile of dishes extended past the top of the sink, which just shows how long we haven't washed anything. ALL of my knives were in the sink. ALL of them. I'm not even the one that uses them! So were both of the non-veggie spatulas.

So at first, it wasn't too bad... all of the dishes were a quick rinse...but by the time i got to the bottom of the pile, where all the utensils had floated, I found....

like.. 1/4 package of cooked ramen, with something vaguely representing vegetables like.. rotting onto the bottom of the sink, and some of the utensils and plates. I was literally scratching dried/rotted veggies off cups. There was also pear peels. I know those were fresh, cuz I saw *** peeling them yesterday. Seriously, WHY the fuck would you put MORE food into a pile of dishes, of which certainly food was already at the bottom? Especially, why would you put more food INTO the rotting pile, and then not bother to clean any of it?

I literally had to like.. disentangle forks and chopsticks from ramen. Not only that, but the thing we use to catch food to make sure stuff we dont want to fall into the sink doesnt fall into the sink...
the food that was MATTED and SQUISHED onto it had turned BROWN and smelled like.. iono.. sour milk. it took me SOO long to figure out how to get it out without touching it. GROSS GUYS.

yeah. and now everything is washed and piled into the dish rack.

thanks for being proactive, guys.

that was really ranty, but I do really like the people I live with. I'm sincerely apologetic for the vast amount of hipocrasy in the rant I just wrote, because I leave my dishes in the sink very often..

ON ANOTHER NOTE...
i'm tired ;___;
one last midterm!
GOGOGO!

Life Is Good

2009-10-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Sign Here - Ice Nine Kills
Random Thought of the Day: I should be cramming EE right now...

So I found out that I pretty much failed all my midterms LOL
I got a 35/100 on EE1, and 77/100 on Maths, and I'm gonna ask my friend to pick up my physics midterm... although I'm pretty sure I didn't do too well on that either.

I know that was kind of depressing... but the nice thing is, I'm not that depressed! I used to care so much about whether I got an A or an A+, and little distinctions like that, but I feel like I've chilled out SO much this year. Maybe it's cuz I've just given up to the idea that my classes are too overwhelming right now, and I'd be happy with whatever, so long as its like.. an A. Okay so maybe I haven't chilled. But even so, with all the bad news academically, LIFE IS GOODDDDDD

Hip hop is AMAZINGGGGG! I feel like I'm bonding with everyone really well, which is GREAT, becuas eI can't say the same for dance in high school. There's definitely not as much drama and elitism, and I think that's partially because this is a competitive team, so if we DON'T bond well and work well together, it would be pretty darn hard to win.

and... I'm back with my baby <3
I guess all along I was vacillating back and forth between whether or not I made the right choice... but in the end, I guess I missed the good times too much. And now, I'm back spending like.. wayy too much time at his place... and everything feels perfect. Just the way it should be ^__^ Even IF his roommates are very distracting, and pretty much make me very academically counterproductive. Still, I love them all. And I love my baby the most <3

I love my roommates too.
TJ I LOVE YOUUUUU [because I know that at some point you're going to read this]
JEN I LOVE YOU TOOOO [but you won't see this ever :[ LOL ]
yes. you two are amazing. Even if i dont see you guys that much. But still. <3<3<3 ^__^

Okays time to go start EE. except my class is in an hour.
I guess that means I should procrastinate for 30 more minutes.. THEN go to class!
YAYY LIFE!

Asian Music Yay

2009-10-23T01:42:00.001-07:00

Listening to: Forever Love - Wang Li Hom
Random Thought of the Day: t - 6 hours for physics midterm!

Forever 才了解自己未来这些日子
要好好珍惜爱我有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我不是理所当然的决定

I've been liking really ballady songs lately.
And watching tons of really really lovely, sad dances.
in particular, this one.

watch it, love it.

yeah it is AMAZING.
The song is The Faces by Ryandan. It is AMAZINGGGG

2009-10-21T04:42:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Chris Brown - With You
Random Thought of the Day: i am fuxed for my midterm. again.

would you guess it breaks my heart?

I still don't know why
I do these things to myself.

i'm listening to sad songs again.
but maybe they're not actually sad
but only sad because i make them so.
go figure.

lol

2009-10-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

so then i blogged

and then i deleted.

just like

veni

vidi

vici

THIS IS SPAHHHTUHHHHHHH

2009-10-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

Listening to: clazziquai project
Random Thought of the Day: alsdkfhasklernaskaf lekhralkfa asldkfna NOASDHFAKWERALKNSD H

this is what i do on sundays
when i am procrastinating.

i fail at life :[

slam 7 0 5 3: i wins at
slam 7 0 5 3: :|
slam 7 0 5 3: econ!
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
slam 7 0 5 3: hopefully at least
slam 7 0 5 3: keep positive mindset
Angie: LOL hopefully
Angie: i wins at maths
Angie: and econs
Angie: cuz i failzed my last lab
slam 7 0 5 3: econs?
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
Angie: i mean
Angie: physics
Angie: :[ not econs
slam 7 0 5 3: LOLLL
slam 7 0 5 3: yeah i was like
slam 7 0 5 3: wtf
slam 7 0 5 3: dont be a copyucat
Angie: dude i secretly ownz econs
Angie: i'm so good at it
Angie: i dont ever go to class
Angie: i just walk in during the midterms and finals
Angie: and then set the curve
Angie: and then i leave
Angie: like.. 2 hours early.
slam 7 0 5 3: do for me!?
slam 7 0 5 3: teach me?
slam 7 0 5 3: =D
Angie: no but if i teach you i wont be magicks anymore :[
slam 7 0 5 3: but i can be magicks
Angie: no but i'm te only one that gets to be magicks
Angie: :[
slam 7 0 5 3: u can be magick
slam 7 0 5 3: magikarp
slam 7 0 5 3: studying hard?
slam 7 0 5 3: hardly studying
Angie: no :[ too busy splashing
Angie: *splash splash*
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
slam 7 0 5 3: IT HAS NO EFFECT!!!
Angie: =*(
slam 7 0 5 3: LOL
slam 7 0 5 3: its okay
slam 7 0 5 3: at level 20
slam 7 0 5 3: u blossom into
slam 7 0 5 3: gyarados
Angie: adnd then i cans make tornado
Angie: and tornado my homework away?
slam 7 0 5 3: just dont get hit by lightning
slam 7 0 5 3: then u be deadz
Angie: D:
Angie: we cans tawk lyk lolcatz?
slam 7 0 5 3: we canz
slam 7 0 5 3: we canz haz lolcatz tawk
Angie: lawllawl!
Angie: lawllawl i are lolcatz!
Angie: i can haz chezburger
Angie: but i dunt want chezburger =[
Angie: what can i haz?
slam 7 0 5 3: then u canz not haz chezburger
slam 7 0 5 3: u canz haz avcadoz smoothes
Angie: canz i nomnom on avcadoz smoothzzzzz
Angie: nomnommnomnomonomnaosdfalernalksdhflawnerna nomnom
slam 7 0 5 3: hahahhaa

I'm a ROCK.. er... RAP STAR

2009-10-12T23:57:00.000-07:00

Listening to: crickets
Random Thought of the Day: My head fucking hurts like a fucking bitch. ow.

So I wrote a really cool rap in the shower. It rhymed really well and flowed pretty smoothly.

But by the time I got to the end I already forgot the beginning.

I thought about rewriting it

but then I realized...

the topic makes me sad.

Life <3 and Contemplation

2009-10-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Offspring
Random Thought of the Day: I wish I were back at LA....
ACA <33333

The last two weeks of school have been AMAZING. Super super busy, but like.. blissfully amazing nonetheless. I met the love of my life (well.. re-met...): dance, and am now a part of the SUPERAWESOME ACA HIP HOP <3. I barely met everyone on the team yesterday, and already I feel like this is going to be a fantastic year, with fantastic people. I'm SO EXCITED for rehearsals to start, so I can spend more time with everyone (and so I can dance, of course!).
Initiation was last night, and while I must be hushhush about the details, it was SUPER fun! I dont think I've been so carefree and unobtrusively outgoing in a WHILE. For a while now I've felt like college has made me shyer, and it's been harder for me to meet and really get to know people. But now, I think that might change, and I'm excited to see whether I'll truly mature and become a better person out of this next year's experiences.
Also, the last two weeks or so, I've been spending pretty much every other night at George's place. (heehee) It's been SUPER fun, since its like.. iono. Pretty much spend the night cooking together (in the last couple days, we've made Croquettes, Tonkatsu, spicy sauteed fish, oyster sauce vegetables, and the guys grilled tri tip when I wasn't there D: D: D: ) and then some sort of sport / video game is always playing on their 60 inch TV (immense jealousy goes here, but at least I get to watch it too LOL ... to compensate for the 24inch TV in my apartment.. =d ). We party together sometimes too, which is also fun. Its kind of like having a lot of brothers.

Which brings me to the Contemplation part of the post:

I realized... I'm really scared of change. While I embrace changing myself for the better, and being ambitious (and the change that comes in that right), I'm scared of the changes I can't control. I'm so satisfied with the way my life is right now that I'm terrified of anything happening to like.. shake up everything. Like... I feel like I'm on a spike where my position is PERFECT, but if I squirm too much I'll fall off or the spike will break. Yet at the same time, I'm not entirely sure that the spike that I'm on is where I should be. haha I don't think I make much sense right now... but I think TJ knows what I mean...

Like... how do you know what perfection feels like, unless you've tasted life without it?

Which brings me to another, very dangerous conclusion:
I feel like I should wreck everything.

Almost got Scammed =O

2009-10-06T10:55:00.001-07:00

Listening to: Jay Chou- Ocean of Flowers
Random Thought of the Day: Mm.... New shoes <3

I ALMOST GOT SCAMMED TODAY! D:

I opened my email, and there was a message from 'Paypal' saying that I had authorized a $12 something charge to "godaddy" and that they suspected that it was unauthorized. Then there was this link that led to a 'Paypal' website, where you could terminate the unauthorized charge. This scam was particularly convincing because I had actually visited godaddy sometime in the summer! I signed in, and then it asked me to verify my credit card number and I was like "HRMMM WAITTT" and I looked at the url and IT WASNT PAYPAL AT ALL!!!! So I exited superfast and then changed my Paypal password.

Next time, methinks I should look at the url first? ^__^;;

zomgzomgzomgzomgzomgzomg I have so much work.

Thanks Guys

2009-10-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

Listening to: My computer fan
Random Thought of the Day: I am still kinda dizzy :[

Yesterday, I dragged a bunch of my friends (well... essentially, I dragged George's roommates LOL) to a NSU bonfire. It was pretty fun cuz I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO PLAY NINJA AND ITS SUPER FUNSSS!!!!

and then in the last game it was just me and michael yen AND I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE WON except it would have required something really awkward probably (since he was on the floor) so it was good that just then, Toshi called for attention to break up the bonfire so people could get going to the after party.

Yeahhhp. After party was fun.

but man... fail.

I was supposed to look after people too, except it ended up being the other way around LOLOL =|

but yeah. Thanks to my friends for taking care of me <3

and LOL george warned me not to drink too fast... but yeah. I decided I'm gonna try to just drink at one party at the very beginning of each quarter to get it out of my system, and then keep sober the rest of the quarter. Which will work out because I need to be not hungover for class, anyways.

Yup.

Tomorrow is george's birthday. and we are celebrating today.

I am excited.

classes

2009-09-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Backstreet Boys
Random Thought of the Day: Yayyy tennis is fun. I like working out... as long as its not by myself, running on a treadmill.

So far, it doesn't seem too bad
the wheel keeps turning, you see
the hamsters keep running

one bad joke after another,
it's not so bad
after you get used to the
forced laughter.

someday, you'll be smarter
cliche lyrics, don't you wish
they rang true?

All you need is to be
is complacent
resign yourself to fate
let the current carry you.

Thinking....

2009-09-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Listening to: The tapping of the keyboards
Random Thought of the Day: I think I only like working when I have access to the internet. Then I can do random stuff online when nothing is going on. :)

So i was thinking last night... I was at D&B, and it was my friend/coworker's 21st birthday, and she got plastered. Luckily for her, her brother was there to take care of her, and it was really really cute how worried he was about her. But yeah. So that got me thinking...

DAMMIT I WISH I HAD A BROTHER :[
haha I was actually supposed to have one, cuz my mom had a boy before me, but then he was miscarried. But thats lucky cuz otherwise I wouldnt be here, i guess. But still.... I'd like to have a brother.

Especially one that buys me one too many drinks on my 21st and then takes care of me afterwards. LOL

New York and DC photos

2009-09-07T02:15:00.000-07:00

Listening to: GLP
Random Thought of the Day: dude ISA was so ridiculously kickass... BEST night in a LONG time =D

~~ This is cross posted from my other blog. ~~

I should update more! Here are a few pictures from new york/DC! I'm working on post processing, so these are kinda rough.. I wonder if they're okay?This is the World Trade Center... or at least, where it used to be. Once again, messing around with post processing.This is the washington monument. I swear, DC is ridiculously gorgeous. Particularly around Capitol Hill.. right before a thunderstorm. The sunsets are stunning.

I love hte grittiness and starkness of hte building. is it a bit much though? >< And a wee lil crawly that made its way up my leg, while i was sitting on a bench in front of lincoln memorial. Cute, neh? XP My first ever decent bug macro. only 1/10 ended up passable :[

Yup. have i improved? XP

I dont understand...

2009-09-06T01:47:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Clazziquai Project
Random Thought of the Day: I don't understand how, as a person, you can be so considerate and inconsiderate, so mature and yet so immature.

hm.

I hear screaming again.

The echoes aren't pretty.

In fact, they sound more like... rubber tires
tormenting cement

I don't think i've ever seen
so many veins in one man's neck

or so much poison in one woman's words

or so many tears
on a little girl's cheeks.

New York Lullaby

2009-08-28T15:44:00.000-07:00

Listening to: My iPod died :[

Did you know? It takes roughly 5 hours to get from Battery Park - more specifically, the dock for the Liberty Island/Ellis Island/New York ferry - through Wall Street, to the corner of 38th and 8th street (including one half an hour Big Mac and Ice Cream stop at McDonalds) on foot.

It started when my dad pointed at the sign with the three blue circles.
"That line goes to Brooklyn," I said patiently, as he insisted that we were going the wrong way, and THAT line was the one we're supposed to take.
I tried again: "Wo men dei shang yi hao de di tie!" The number one, red line subway was the only one whose tracks cut a clear line through Manhattan, straight to Battery Park.
It took one janitor and one security guard in a neon yellow jacket to persuade him that I, the one holding the map, was indeed right. Ten minutes later, we were standing outside of South Ferry, lining up to board the wrong boat.

The problem with New York is that there is too much to do, too much to see. Every second is a lost second to be on the way to the next destination. That might have been the reason that my dad started dragging us back to the boat the minute we stepped off its deck, or it could simply have been that Staten Island is no Statue of Liberty.

All of the tickets to ascend to the Statue's crown were sold out until December. That wasn't too much of a problem, since my dad chickened out of climbing even the monument's pedestal. I say climbing because, while we ordinarily would have been rising up its height in a glass elevator, the elevator was out of order that unlucky day. Thus, it was only my mom, my sister, and I who made the 156-step climb to the statue's base.
It was too dreary a day for the view to have been particularly impressive. An impending thunderstorm drifted on the horizon, casting a gray veil over the skyline and dulling the magnificence of the sparkling skyscrapers and waves. Thats why, I was only 15 shots in on my Canon when my mom pulled me off the stone railing and back into the iron fortress that was the Statue's innards, to make the descent back down to solid ground.

I liked Ellis Island better than the Statue of Liberty. Perhaps it was because the Statue seemed much smaller in life than I had hoped, but Liberty Island was to me, entirely underwhelming. Or, it could have been that I preferred the bright colors of the displays in Ellis Island's museum to the mottled green that adorned Lady Liberty.

Neither of these, however, matched my appreciation for Wall Street. From the ornate stone decorations crowning every building to the gilded gold letters announcing each business, even the sign before the statue of George Washington that proclaimed the place where Washington was first sworn into office as President, Wall Street was the one place (besides Times Square) that made my determination to see New York worthwhile. Not that I would ever hope to work within its belly, of course, but a girl can dream.

Cradling the obligatory Starbucks coffees and coursing our way north, my family and I headed towards what used to be the World Trade Center. Unfortunately for my dad, the commemorative museum had closed half an hour before we arrived, slightly lost and sore from all the walking.

Then, came the conundrum.

End our day prematurely and return via subway(for New York, which, like Vegas is a city that never sleeps, 6:30pm is dawn for the social-minded), or lose ourselves in the subculture of Manhattan? For a family too frugal to spend $2.25 per person on subway tickets, the latter won.

Which is how I found myself, three hours later, passing the thirtieth Duane-Reade and wondering whether my feet were stronger than I thought and were actually carrying me fifty blocks back to the hotel, or whether they had simply gone numb. By then, I was carrying not only my own purse, but my dad's backpack (which I had taken in hopes that he would walk a bit faster without the extra weight), and a couple books we bought for the bus to DC the next day. The sky had already darkened, and the Empire State Building shone in the distance as a mockery to our weary feet (always moving away, like the mountains move so you never seem to get any closer). Occasionally, the rumbling laugh of the subway drifted from the grates lining the sidewalks, mixing with the stink of garbage.

When we finally returned to the hotel, there was no comfort to be found there either. Images of the patch of mold my mom had found on the back of her pillow floated freshly in my mind, as did memories of the crumbs of rust covering the back of the hotel towels. Didn't the cleaning lady do her job, my mom wondered, half annoyed, half sickened, as I maneuvered the bathroom on tiptoes, trying not to touch the walls.

Which leads me to a few conclusions about New York:
1. Never go unless you have the money to splurge on a decent hotel, and travel accomodations to and from there, and anywhere you might feel like exploring.
2. McDonalds in New York are much more interesting than those in LA (can you say Neon ceiling lights?)
3. LA needs more hot dog stands. By hot dogs, I mean bacon wrapped hot dogs. With a side of kebabs.
4. I do like New York, and very much so. But only the very very expensive parts of New York.
5. Mexicans are to LA, as black people are to New York.

NY, here i come!

2009-08-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

I found the perfect training manual for my new job:

Beware: if you come into STC in 2 months and ask me to fix your computer, this is the procedure I will follow.

JK XP

LEAVING FOR NY TODAY! I'm so excited! I'm charging my camera, so I'll take lots of (hopefully) great pictures :] I hope my parents and I don't look too touristy... I told my mom to try and dress a little more stylish than usual.. LOL And then, I'm off to Baltimore and Washington DC! I'm excited to see the reflection pool and the white house and stuff. Once more, great photo opps! Unfortunately, it'll be uh.. thunderstorming the last 3 days of my trip, but hopefully the weather will take a turn for the better...

Listening to: Lollipop - 2ne1 ft Big Bang
Random Thought of the Day: Why do i keep getting headaches?! T___T

Work

2009-08-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

Listening to: The Baseball game in the background
Random Thought of the Day: 15 minutes until I'm off work!

Dude I love my new job. Work is SOO ridiculously chill. In fact, I am at work right now. The managers are totally okay with us like.. doing whatever on the computers and chatting and watching movies and stuff, as long as we take care of the customers (when there are any, which there hardly are, in the summer). Sometimes, the managers come over and chat too, so we just have like.. six people sitting around, gossiping LOL. And James, the manager directly above the students, is pretty foul mouthed, and is only 2 years out of UCLA, so he's really lax, and a lot of the students are pretty potty mouthed in front of him, which is pretty funny. He's really knowledgeable about a lot of hardware and coding stuff too, so it's cool to learn stuff from him. Today, I tore apart a iBook, so it was some good (?) experience for disassembling laptops. We also got to fool around on the mac computers in the back, just to "learn how to use the OS," which was also cool. I also spent some time today doing some LSAT logic practice problems with one of my coworkers ( i actually got the answer faster than he did ^__^;;) haha. Maybe I should take the LSAT and become a lawyer instead? XP jkjk no WAY..

But yeah. I'm off work in 8 minutes now, so I think i'll go back to writing my article for my other job.

LOL its like getting paid for two jobs at the same time.
wooooot

D. Gray Man

2009-08-13T15:49:00.001-07:00

Listening to: Last Angel - Tohoshinki (DBSK)
Random Thought of the Day: I... should probably be studying for my final right now.

It's the last day before my final, and I have no motivation whatsoever to study, even though it's kinda a make or break kinda deal ( I pass, then I pass the class. I fail, then I fail the class). Honestly, I don't care much about what grade I get in that class, as long as I pass. Weird, huh, since that's not normally my outlook on school.

Anyways, I've been reading D. Gray-Man recently, and I absolutely love it, maybe more than I love Naruto. This is one of my favorite panels EVER:

The top panel is the exorcists, and the bottom panel is the family of Noahs and the Millenium Earl, whom the exorcists are fighting for the salvation of humanity. It's quite an exciting manga, and gorgeously drawn. I have a penchant for liking only well drawn mangas (regardless of how interesting the story is), so no wonder I like this series so much! There are a total of (i think) 181 chapters right now, and the manga-ka is on hiatus (NOOOO!!) I'm already on Chapter 143, so ... D: I'm going to run out of my beloved D. Gray Man soon!
When I do, I think I'll watch Nobuta, cuz I need to practice Japanese, and because I promised Christina I'd finish it this summer(since... the DVDs ARE hers...).

Then I think I'll start on Pandora Hearts.
LOL T__T

I might cosplay as Allen Walker for Anime LA (since I might not be here for AX next year :[ )
but Sonia is trying to talk me into Alice from Pandora Hearts. Ahh we'll see ;)

Needles

2009-08-03T14:40:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Vis Major- Brightwood
Random Thought of the Day: Bleh... I'm so lazyyy

I realized today that the reason I'm scared of needles is probably because of a scene in Princess Pearl, which I saw when I was six, and has remained one of my strongest memories from my childhood.
In it, the princess was tortured by one of the Empress's serving ladies, because the Empress hated how the Emperor doted on the princess. The serving lady stuck hundreds of tiny little needles into the princess, because it is a form of torture that produces immense pain, but doesn't leave many traces. I read somewhere a while ago that this form of torture was actually pretty common in Imperial China. How scary.
So that scene scared me out of my six year old mind, and here I am, well over a decade later, still afraid of needles.

But that blood test I got on Saturday, surprisingly, didn't hurt at all. Yay for experienced nurses!

I wonder....

2009-07-31T00:47:00.000-07:00

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through the stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of...

Apartamenting and STOLEN from JEN/AMY

2009-07-29T22:33:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Korean radio on my ipod! yay for tunewiki!
Random Thought of the Day: I .. really .. should be doing homework..

This is what moving into an apartment feels like. kinda.:

and the rest will be the stolen survey!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Re-post as “my life according to (band name)”

Pick your Artist:
My Chemical Romance

Are you a male or female:
Helena

Describe yourself:
I never told you what I do for a living

How do you feel:
give em hell, kid

Describe where you currently live:
disenchanted

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Early Sunsets over Monroeville

Your favorite form of transportation:
Skylines and Turnstiles

Your best friend is:
Romance

You and your best friends are:
Teenagers

What’s the weather like?
Desert Song

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Famous Last Words

What is life to you:
Headfirst for Halos

Your current relationship:
the ghost of you

Your fear:
I don't love you

What is the best advice you have to give:
it's not a fashion statement, its a deathwish

Thought for the Day:
This is how I disappear

How I would like to die:
cemetery drive

My soul’s present condition:
the sharpest lives

My motto:
thank you for the venom

strangely, a lot of them fit really well LOL

Things I wish I were doing.. but am not.

2009-07-25T22:50:00.001-07:00

reading Harry Potter
sewing some shirts! goddamn it
finishing my baby's present ( =_= )
practicing guitar
making up instrument parts for my lyrics

I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO GET STARTED ON MY PORTFOLIO DESIGN! LIKE REALLY REALLY!

I dunno if i want tomake it kinda grungy/vectorish / scrapbook ish / or doodley! I'M SO UNDECISIVE!! :[

i had lots of food today *groans* *is very very full*

Music? =O

2009-07-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Superstar- Ash
Random Thought of the Day: I MISS MY LVL 22 MONFERNO ;___; why oh why didn't I save?

Know what I've been doing recently?
NOT
I don't know why, but recently, I keep thinking of random lines I think would be good songs. And I also (frequently) get the inclination to get on my piano to make up something. If I were better on guitar, I'd probably try making up guitar songs too.

With that said, this is what I've been up to recently:I'm not done with it yet, since I'm still tabbing from my recording, but I can't wait to finish and play it for REAL (instead of just making it up as I go along *^___^*)

Also, I've been on a Pokemon spree lately. I just accidentally erased 5 hours of data this afternoon :[ so now I have to redo that entire part.

I'm really behind on homework too :[

MY FIRST ARTICLE for my new job at Make Use Of has been published! => YAY. heehee I'm excited. My editors tell me that I have a really good work ethic, so I'll pass the probation period with flying colors, and in no time! heehee

okay that's it LOL

Mirror Mirror

2009-07-15T22:03:00.000-07:00

Listening to: The Shins
Random Thought of the Day: I should really be studying, instead of GIMP-ing pictures =d

Only Coffee

2009-07-09T23:46:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Red Rabbits -The Shins
Random Thought of the Day: ARG >[

Can I see you again, he asked.
No, you cannot,
My fiance, his name is Dan.
Nevertheless, can I see you again?
No, no, a thousand times no!
Your smile, it reminds me of Annabel.
Who's that?
My dead wife.
They fall into silence.
Are you free next week, just for a chat?
No... well, maybe I'll be in town.

A chat over coffee, or rum, or poison?
Poisoned passion, forgotten Dan.

He panted,
I thought you were busy?
It's only coffee, you say as you moan...

Only coffee.

SUmmer so far, + new aspirations!

2009-06-30T01:16:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Circus- Britney Spears <= omg first english music in AGES!
Random Thought of the Day: ... I probably should have done my homework :[

GUESS WHAT?!
I applied to be a writer of MakeUseOf :D I'm pretty excited, because it seems like they hire a lot of people, and I think writing for a Tech blog would be a pretty nice addition to my resume. That and I obsessively keep track of that stuff anyways, so it wouldn't even be a burden! ^__^ I'm really excited. WISH ME LUCK :D

With that said, I'm going to try to find some work freelancing as a writer. I'm not working this summer, so I've got to find SOME way to make a bit of cash. I think I can do it ><; It probably won't be a lot of money, but hey, its money for something I don't mind doing, so why not :)

Others:
I can now say " that person is Megan Fox" and "I came to school in an airplane" in japanese.
In case anyone is wondering, those two sentences are "あのひとはMegan Foxです" <= sorry dunno my kanji / katakana yet. "私は飛行機で学校にきました。" .. in hiragana that'd be "わたしはひこうきでがっこうにきました." ^__^ I like japanese.

I am also doing terribly in linear algebra.. but thats also cuz i'd rather be bored and browse random webpages than do homework. :[

Nancy

2009-06-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Dynamite, A'ST1
Random Thought of the Day: Reading good authors makes me want to write (:

I stood on that dusty stage and began
shakily: "My name is Nancy.
The second page of my baby book reads:
Then she smiled, that sweet, unblemished
angel of ours.
until Growth took hostage of my body
and introduced me to the
cat callers and wolf whistlers of the world,
until there was nothing left save
shreds of burned feathers, matted to
the twisted knobs of my broken back.
Angel no longer, sweet--"

The woman in the front row stands,
poised unsteadily in fur and hooker heels
Touching, she applauds slowly and
takes a drag on her cigarette
the smoke obscures a mottled face, she
looks at me, lowers one tattooed eyelid
a ghoulish wink.
" They called me Nancy once too."

[not so] poetic at 3 am

2009-06-20T23:41:00.000-07:00

Listening to: So Hot- Wonder Girls
Random Thought of the Day: Sometimes I wonder whether... its true or not. but then I feel guilty for doubting.

the musk of skin
a handful of purple stars
waiting for your name to appear
impatient tapping
frustrated, the clock ticks down
scrolling through pictures of you and me
laughter, soft kisses
my cheek feels the warmth of your lips
why doesn't phone ring?
cold words, harsh words
misunderstandings seep beneath my skin
i worry too much, relax
he'll call, he'll call
remember the fireworks? the happy glow
what about those days before?
let one moment wash it away!
no, no.
I cannot fall slave to a second's romance
watching and waiting for it to appear
a small gift, or a dangling carrot
it keeps me still
why isnt it ringing?
shush... just believe.

the phone rings.

Summer

2009-06-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Fire - 2NE1
Random Thought of the Day: Wow I haven't blogged in AGES!

-Breakfast with Kevin [who sometimes lives in Arcadia! which is cool :) ]
-Lunch with Kristi [whom i havent seen since last year! But she's like... my oldest bestie ^__^]
-Lunch with Leanne [Bestie!! and FINALLY got korean sushi <3 ]
-Awesomely awesome date with my baby <3 It's too long to describe, but i'll just say that it was...

pretty darn perfect.

-Lunch with TLai, Jos, and Bryant [yayy for english buddies ^__^ my plan to vchat with tLai totally failed... but we'll do better next year! ]
-Dinner with Michael [i just saw him last week too =_= but at least he came down haha. And i tried .. soy paper wrapped spicy tuna rolls! they were pretty good .. but really expensive :( ]

Coming up [in no particular order]:
-Actually going to the Gym
-Summer school =(
-Lots of Chuck Palahniuk
-nomnom with lots of people
-busbusbusbusbus
-Ayashi no Ceres! and Hot Gimmick!
-more disneyland trips! and hopefully a six flags trip
-Boys Before Flowers, Coffee Prince, Nobuta wo Produce, One Liter of Tears
-HARRY POTTER PREMIERE ANYONE?
-finally turning LEGAL :)

yayy for more frequent posting!

2009-06-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Doushite - DBSK
Random Thought of the Day: still too much crap to clean up!!

Today, I embark on my Macifying of my Dell Inspiron 1525 adventures! I'm going to log it here, for the [probably not] interest of whoever is reading this.

Logistics~
iPC OSx86 10.5.6 Universal FINAL
Dell Inspiron 1525, Running Windows Vista
HDD: 160 gigs
Ram: 2 gigs
Chipset : Intel core 2 Duo

11:00 : burned ISO of iPC with PowerISO
11:10 : Using DiskUtility, Shrunk my Vista partition. So far, so good?
11:25 : Booted into iPC.
11:29 : still waiting for loading screen to.. uh.. load. JK NOMNOM I SEE LEOPARD BACKGROUND
11:34 : First try FAIL ~ forgot to format empty partition in Windows Vista. SO ANTICLIMATIC. restarting into Vista nao.
11:42 : Formatted empty partition. Rebooting on iPC
11:45 : got distracted and watched Phineas and Ferb for 5 minutes =d
11:50 : PREPARING INSTALLATION~~~
12:10 : Computer went into hibernate during the middle of the install, because of my computer's terrible battery life. FAIL FAIL FAIL
12:12 : Try #3.
12:19 : PREPARING INSTALLATION!
1：00 ： DONEEE :D
1:01 : jk.. now installing drivers and patches to make the two finger scroll work

<333333

I stole this from Stina

2009-06-05T16:43:00.001-07:00

Stina did one, and I feel like procrastinating, cuz I’m exhausted and don’t want to learn anymore! so here it is..

a chronology of how my taste in guys has changed LOL

Unfortunately, this boy did not grow up well :( I had the biggest crush on him in elementary school… but no longer [thank goodness, because he is no longer good looking =X ]

Jake Gyllenhaal … I guess when I was younger I liked more white people…

Howie from the Backstreet Boys. Surprisingly , now that I think about it, my favorite backstreet boy was NOT nick carter. Go me!

Chris Trousdale of Dream Street, circa 7th Grade?

Strangely enough, it was Jesse McCartney of DReam Street that ended up making it big, even though he was the baby [and one of the lesser noticed members] of Dream Street.

Its okay though. Chris and Jesse are the only ones that grew up well :)

and now prepare for the onslaught of asians…

by FAR my FAVORITE japanese actor! I watched Hana Yori Dango not because of the plot, or because anyone said “omg its so cute”

but because Oguri Shun going “Ma-Ki-No” is SOOO CUTEEEEE *squee*

Wu Chun – my favorite Taiwanese actor! The only reason I watched even 2 episodes of the awesomely crappy Taiwanese version of Hana Kimi is because of Wu Chun.

Interestingly, I only started liking him after george mentioned him to me.

TThey dress awesomely. Every asian guy needs to dress like this, because it is just too awesome. Thank you Korean Pop culture.

And my favorite member of my favorite band, U-Know Yunho from DBSK!

heehee.

watching Yunho dance makes me happy.

lolol i think my taste in guys is getting more and more… feminine. That and … I seem to gravitate largely to Asian guys. =) yay for embracing my culture? LOL

and notice that Yunho and Wu chun bear an interesting resemblance to my favorite boy of all :

heehee <3

Freaking Out

2009-06-02T21:19:00.001-07:00

Ironic that although I’m freaking out about not having enough time, I’m wasting time by blogging.

I’m just going to take the next five minutes to rant about how ridiculously busy i am going to be over the next few days.

Wednesday- Programs need to be finished by.. hopefully.. today, NSU Staff meeting (5pm-7pm)
Thursday- Chinese Final, CS Project Due, Superlatives
Friday – Physics Homework Due, Math Homework Due, Chinese Skit
Saturday – CS Final, NSU Banquet [if i dont finish CS early.. theres a possibility that the car to Banquet will leave without me D: ]
Monday – Physics Final

I still need to learn everything about Rotational motion for my physics final, Everything relating to vectors for Math, etcetcetc.

Did i mention that i almost lost all my chinese notes today? Lucky Jamie picked them up from 10th week dinner for me today.

.. here’s to midnight buddies. Who’s with me?! =(((

2009-05-22T01:58:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Lies- Big Bang
Random Thought of the Day: OMG so much stuff I want to do! but already, the day is over and it's time for bed :(

Just a couple [maybe?] interesting statistics:

I the last [almost two] week[s], I've had 297 ounces of tea, 130 ounces of water, 78 ounces of Coffee, 52 ounces of smoothie, 48 ounces of diet soda, 45 ounces of soy milk, and 20 ounces of sports drinks.

I've averaged about 5.88 hours of sleep a night (which is surprisingly decent, and also largely offset by the amount of sleep I get on weekends). SEE GUYS? I'm not as sleep deprived as you all think!

I'm really happy right now because I just started talking to a old high school friend that I haven't seen all year. He taught me how to breakdance for a while last summer, and we used to randomly gym / get ice cream together <= how contradictory. I found out that he's gonna be going to PCC for summer school too and I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE NOW I'M NOT GONNA BE A LONER THERE ANYMOREEE. Well, technically I still am, since we are not going to be taking the same classes, but it's okay. It's still nice to have someone to, for example, meet up with between classes and stuff. And we might go karaoke, cuz he's korean, and I like korean music.

Christina and I went to go get Late Night and Bcafe earlier today, and I had my first burger at UCLA! Well.. technically it was a quarter of a burger. It was decent, but I think I prefer In n out =d
and getting smoothies without any sherbet ROCKS. They taste so much better because they're not NEARLY as sweet. Thank you, random people, for giving me ideas when I am swiping you guys while working at register.

okay so I barely slept last night, and will be needing to get up in about 4 hours [again] to go eat breakfast before class. It would probably be prudent for me to sleep now.

I WANT TO SEE STAR TREK OVER THE LONG WEEKEND!

Epik High

2009-05-19T03:55:00.000-07:00

Listening to: One- Epik High

Random Thought of the Day: I wish I weren't so easily offended by small things.

I'm going to post a picture journey of my weekend.

Actually, just of the Epik High concert.

So... on Saturday night, I went to
with and to watch the promotional World Tour of Epik High's album, .
We to the sound of and . The latter's set got really boring though, cuz it was so damn long (almost longer than Epik High's, and they were HEADLINING!), so Lynn and I . Then, we got tired and sat down to wait out Kero One's set. From the ground, the stage looked beautiful.

It was an awesome day.

I'd post more, but its 4:30 and i'm sleepy :)

Midterms

2009-05-15T02:03:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Haru Haru- Big Bang <= omg i'm so addicted to this song

Random Thought of the Day: SHINee's comeback look is slightly scary o.o but I can't wait for the release of Romeo!!

So its 2am the day before my second math midterm, and if I don't do well, I might as well just drop the class now. But strangely, I'm not very worried. I don't know if its because I've been doing practice problems, and getting most of them correct, or because I just don't want to care anymore. Either way, I'm glad I'm not stressed.

I haven't blogged for a while, I realized, because I've been so busy with midterms and what not. Here's what I've been up to: I joined Traditional Dance! Come see us at ACA's CACN, which is going to be May 29th, I believe. We're going to be doing Qing Dynasty dance (if anyone's seen Princess Pearl, aka Huang Zhu Ge Ge), and we get to wear QiPao and these wicked heels that look like this : yeahhh i'm pretty excited XP

Banquet Comm for NSU: We're planning the Banquet for Nikkei Student Union, which is going to be June 2nd (same day as my CS final... yikes >< ) It's gonna be at LAX Marriott, which is exciting! We've been hard at work fundraising and filming the Newbie Skit and stuff like that :) all funfunfun! Watching KDrama: Boys Before Flowers! I've seen both the Japanese version (Hana Yori Dango) and the Taiwanese version (Meteor Garden), and I probably will watch the chinese version when it's out. Look at this chart though:

compared to all the other Asian ethnicities, why must the boys of China pale so much in comparison? *sadness* [although +1 if you consider Taiwanese boys = Chinese boys too].
Yeah. ... LOL well .. I'm probably going to end up finishing the Korean version either right before summer starts, or at the very beginning of summer. No word when the Chinese version will launch yet, but we'll see, won't we? haha
I think i'll be making myself a drama list for summer, cuz there are so many good ones I want to watch! Any suggestions?

k i think its about time i got to bed. Midterm in less than 8 hours! Wish me luck!

Interesting Convos (:

2009-05-11T00:08:00.001-07:00

LOLOL yay CS (:

(11:59:37 PM) godofch33se the computer porgram
(11:59:39 PM) godofch33se we work with in lab
(11:59:47 PM) godofch33se is like a 13 year old girl throwing
(11:59:49 PM) godofch33se bitch fits
(11:59:53 PM) godofch33se its so effing retarded
(11:59:55 PM) s1mplyenchanted LOL
(12:00:00 AM) s1mplyenchanted really? literally?
(12:00:05 AM) s1mplyenchanted so like.. do each of you
(12:00:10 AM) s1mplyenchanted have a 13 year old girl
(12:00:12 AM) s1mplyenchanted like.. tethered
(12:00:14 AM) s1mplyenchanted =d
(12:00:19 AM) godofch33se WE DO ACTUALLY
(12:00:20 AM) godofch33se LOL
(12:00:28 AM) godofch33se but only for computing purposes
(12:00:46 AM) s1mplyenchanted are you sure?
(12:00:54 AM) s1mplyenchanted ey ey *nudge nudge wink wink*
(12:02:01 AM) godofch33se nno
(12:02:03 AM) godofch33se jk
(12:02:04 AM) godofch33se but yes
(12:02:10 AM) godofch33se it resembles a girl in the way
(12:02:10 AM) godofch33se that
(12:02:16 AM) godofch33se its really bitchy
(12:02:21 AM) godofch33se and you just want to hit it
(12:02:25 AM) godofch33se real hard
(12:02:29 AM) s1mplyenchanted hit it?
(12:02:36 AM) godofch33se the computer i mean
(12:02:40 AM) s1mplyenchanted as in you'd hit that?
(12:02:42 AM) s1mplyenchanted ;)
(12:02:51 AM) godofch33se LOL
(12:02:53 AM) godofch33se maybe
(12:02:56 AM) godofch33se hit it as in
(12:02:57 AM) godofch33se inflit
(12:02:59 AM) godofch33se massive amounts
(12:03:02 AM) godofch33se of phsyical pain
(12:03:11 AM) godofch33se god im just digging a deeper hole for myself

Sadly…

2009-05-08T19:07:00.001-07:00

I ran into one of my friends in the dining hall yesterday. I had math class with her Fall quarter, but after that, I haven’t seen her much, except when we occasionally arrange lunches together.

I said to her: “omg I haven’t seen you in AGES! We should have dinner again sometime!”

and she said to me: “ I know! I keep thinking… She never calls me! It’s always me calling her. I wonder if she’ll call me if I dont call first. And you know what, you never call!”

and I realized that I neglect my friends a lot. I don’t know why, but I simply don’t put enough effort into those relationships. I feel like I need to reassess my priorities, and this time, and take into account who actually appreciates my company, because I feel like I’m wasting a lot of time I could be using to strengthen my bonds with my friends.

decisions decisions.

i’m so bored of EVERYTHING :(

I would just like to share….

2009-05-07T02:58:00.001-07:00

what has kept me up at night, procrastinating the heck out of everything i need to do:

they’re SOO cute, and SO talented! <3
imo the most ADORABLE are Jong hyun:

and Key

although they’re cute too:

mingho: v and Taemin

okay fine onew is pretty good looking too. ^

… OKAY NO MORE KOREAN BOYS. i need to sleep. and stop youtubing shinEE.

did i mention they all speak fluent English and Chinese? (and Japanese too, for some of them =d)

steven does not approve =X
… but Christina does XP i’m sure

… did I mention that I started watching Boys Over Flowers, which is the Korean version of Hana Yori Dango? Yes, I’ve seen both seasons of Hana Yori Dango, as well as both seasons of the Taiwanese version (Meteor Garden).

… Productivity fail.

Reminiscing

2009-05-03T12:19:00.001-07:00

Listening to : Stand by Me – SHINee
Random Thought : My jacket’s here!! I can’t WAIT to get it

Yesterday was Orchesis’s annual production, and I attended as a proud alumni. Watching the dancers float across the stage, scrutinizing the angles of their arms and their facials, I could not help but think of this time last year, when I was the one on that stage, worrying whether the audience was scrutinizing my facials or my movements.

Coming back was a bittersweet experience for me; I never had as close of a relationship with any of the girls that they seemed to have with each other. Although we greeted each other enthusiastically before the show, and congratulated this year’s dancers effusively after the show, there was always a muted awkwardness. Faces that I dreaded seeing last year now wore plastered on smiles, and the excited hugs we gave each other were only formalities, because we had once occupied the same studio and shared the same passion.

Even so, I remembered the hours we spent in that studio, painstakingly refining our timing and our expression of the dances we loved so much. Even though we may have gotten on one another’s nerves, fueled the endless drama that seemed to perpetuate our encounters with one another, in the studio we cast aside our differences and danced together as a whole. In the end it was this unity, this common love of Orchesis that let us overcome our grudges against one another and helped us successfully produce our annual Spring show.

I’m sure this year’s Orchesis had no shortage of obstacles to overcome. Despite my lingering distaste for a few of this year’s members, I’m proud of what they have achieved. It took us a lot of sweat and tears, injuries, ice, tylenol, makeup remover wipes, nasty costumes, and bottles of hair spray to get us where we were this time last year – proud graduating seniors of Orchesis Dance Company 07/08.

It with a sweet fondness of the hours spent in the studio, and a bitterness that I no longer am able to dance the way I used to, that I watched the show last night. I hope the graduating members of Orchesis treasured every moment they had in the studio this year, and realize that Orchesis is not an experience to be taken for granted, because never again will we be able to dance 2 hours a day, and spend almost every day doing something we love as much as dance.

Ebay-ing!!!

2009-04-30T02:08:00.001-07:00

So under Melinda’s influence (well.. after reading her blog and then running into her in the bathroom)… I started browsing Ebay vintage. AND I BID ON STUFF FOR THE FIRST TIME! hope i get them! *cross fingers*

neon Nike windbreaker! unfortunately the end time of the auction is somewhere around 5AM Pacific time, so i just set my max bid at 15, and will hope for the best.

Chunky knot ring! It’s KINDA like hte one Melinda wanted, but different at the same time. Like as of two months ago, I began some weird obsession with rings. And now i’m going to confirm that obsession by actually buying one. LOL i’m going to check up on this auction at like.. 8 am tomorrow morning.. and welll.. if i get it i get it if i don’t i dont.

i’m excited!! :D

EDIT** I WON BOTH OF THEM!! XP
the jacket for $15 + free shipping
and the ring for $0.99 + $2.65 shipping.

for the jacket.. iono something weird happened.. like the person I was bidding against bid the same amount as me, but for some weird reason, I won it. LOL yayyyy

powerless

2009-04-27T16:25:00.001-07:00

everything is breaking, breaking, breaking

am I the one holding up the world or

hiding dynamite under my shirt, so vainly

I try to put out the flames

but they only blow higher and smoke

fills my lungs with scalding ashes

so much I long for the snow to fill

this burning room with crystals

but crystals shatter too, glass splinters

against the sparks of my helpless passion

they falter, melt beneath my touch

and I stand on a bed of needles

wishing to float above it all so I can look

down on destruction instead of letting my world

crumble.

Coding Coding Coding

2009-04-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Romantic- ShinEE
Random Thought of the Day: I wonder how much lack of sleep it takes to kill someone.

Even though staying up past 3 am last night makes me very very tired [and puffy!] today, being able to say that I coded for 7.5 hours straight makes me feel really fulfilled. And I didn't even make much progress... However, I am now done with the main boolean function of my CS project, and am now moving on to translating the input string!! Joy! And... strange as it may seem, I cannot WAIT to come back from class and code some more.

The reason coding is so addicting (to me, at least) is because of that mounting excitement while you're building up your functions, and the little surge of adrenaline right every time you compile. Even though a good 95% of those clicks will result in either compile or runtime errors, the feeling of accomplishment and relief when the code finally DOES compile is GREAT. I cannot describe how excited I was last night when I tested my bools and they all worked PERFECTLY.

I am such a nerd :(

note#1- Steven Nguyen is my hero of the WEEKKKKKKK i could not possibly have finished the first bool without his help. in fact, I'd probably still be coding D: He came in at like.. 10pm to the d5 lounge, where 4 of us CS31 kids were chugging away at the project, and spent the next four hours helping us. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU YOU ARE AMAZINGGGGGGG. I dont think any of us would have finished part 1 without you =d

on another note~ Anyone want to go to the Book Festival with me this weekend? I don't know if I'm going to get tickets (Since I'll probably just wander around real quick then hit the books) but if anyone wants to take a jaunt around with me please do tell! (:

note #2- I'M GETTING SUSHI TONIGHT!!! *SQUEEEEEE* [i love sushi :) <3] and even though I got it like... less than a week ago, I can't wait to get it again!
^ I am turning into William. LOL

Singing in the Shower

2009-04-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

Listening to: The River Below- Billy Talent
Random Thought of the Day: MY TIP WAS FEATURED ON LIFEHACKER!!!!!

mmmm freshly baked chocolate chip cookies <3

Sometimes, a quiet moment to think for yourself, without feeling pressured or rushed, is the perfect way to solve that pressing dilemma. Not that my CS project is close to being solved. However, I definitely felt that a nice long shower helped me come up with an idea to start my code. Maybe I should do that more often: just sit and think about a problem, without being too anxious about not finding a solution. I think when you're in the shower, there's no need to think of anything, because you're not technically "working on a problem," you're just showering, with the problem floating around in your head. Then, your subconscious slaves away at untangling your mental knots while you're sudsing up, and when you rinse, voila! The dirt washes away, and you're one puzzle piece closer to truth.

Or maybe i'm making this much more philosophical than it should be =d

The Kindness of Strangers

2009-04-21T09:11:00.001-07:00

Listening To: Morning Calls- Dashboard Confessional
Random Thought of the Day: I wonder if I'm late for Chinese yet..

I've found that over the last few months, I've become more and more cynical. Although this newfound cynicism has its benefits, I find that I prefer the optimistic and more lighthearted perspective I had in the past. This weekend though, someone did something for me that reaffirmed that there are people in the world who will go out of their way to be amazingly kind to others, just because they can. And that, I think, has also made me believe that my wanting to be more optimistic is a well founded goal.

I went to the Grove with my friend this Saturday, because she's never been to Cheesecake Factory before, and she really wanted to try it. However, we had to walk over from the Beverly Center, because that's where we had been spending the day. By the time we even got into Cheesecake Factory, it was already past 10pm. After a 30 minute wait, we were seated on the balcony overlooking the Grove (albeit in a cranny where we could barely see off the edge of the rails). Thus, my friend decided she wanted to sit at a table right on the edge of the balcony, and asked a waiter if we could switch over to another section of the balcony. [note* Our first waiter looked like Hayden Christenson, and the two of us kept swooning every time he came by. It was a REALLY good incentive not to change tables, but in the end I'm glad we did]. Our new waiter was a complete goofball (as opposed to the first, who was a total charmer) and kept joking with us, which is always fun.

After our meal, it was already past 12am, and I suddenly realized that all the busses back to UCLA had stopped running. My friend and I then proceeded to spend the next half hour frantically calling people, anyone with a car, trying to get them to pick us up. However, all of them were either out partying (and not picking up their phones), sleeping, or home for the weekend. Throughout the bouts of panicked speed-dialing, our waiter kept popping by the table to check up on us, and finally offered to take us home, if we could find no other ride. At first, my friend and I were really skeptical and scared, because everyone has heard the horror stories- Girl meets stranger, stranger is all nice and charming and offers her a ride home, stranger rapes and kills girl. Finally though, faced with the option of either walking half a mile through dark streets that neither of us were familiar with to catch a bus that left in less than 20 minutes, we took up the waiter’s offer.

To both of our surprise and relief, the waiter, Jared, was really kind. The moment we got into his car [which he hastily cleaned as we stood by and told him ‘no really! its fine! you don’t need to clean it’] he asked us what music we listened to [he has everything. EVERYTHING.] and put on exactly what we wanted to listen to. Then, we chatted [it wasn’t awkward, strangely] all the way back to UCLA. I think he went in a huge loop out of his way to take us back, since he lived on Sunset, and we live… not on Sunset, but he refused to take any gas money, even when I tried to leave it in his car.

Seriously, Jared made my week. It’s so nice to know that not all people only do favors for others if they receive something in return. Jared, I hope you know that you’ve caused me to seriously reevaluate my outlook on people, and life. You are truly inspiring.

Apartment!!

2009-04-20T02:23:00.001-07:00

So now i am officially… 99% sure I will be able to move out next year! Yay! I will be moving into 430 Kelton which, interestingly, is where lots of the parties I went to have been held.

The things I am most excited for:

- Having a MICROWAVE!

- Having a fridge that fits a carton of Soymilk

- Being able to eat/cook whatever I want, whenever I feel like it

- BAKING!!

- Having a BATHROOM that doesnt require a key to get into. and isn’t far away.

-TORRENTINGGGGGGG :D

-Having room for my other school friends to camp out in

Things I’ll miss

- Being a 2 minute walk from everyone I know

- Visiting people at 2 AM

- Puzzles Runs

- Not having to do dishes. Or chores, for that matter.

- Proximity to campus D: <= incentive to Gym.

- Super high speed internets! Not that.. Dykstra is all that Super high speed.

- Floor / Hill events

its late and i have a midterm tomorrow, so that’s all I can think of for now =d YAYY APARTMENTS.

Prime

2009-04-15T19:57:00.001-07:00

After reading Prime’s article on prescription drug abuse, I’m starting to get the feeling that, had I known about Adderall last quarter, I wouldn’t have done so badly on my midterms and finals. I’m actually MORE tempted to try them out.

I don’t quite think that was the effect they were going for, though.

~edit

I had a dream about stealing some ADD kid's adderall yesterday night. I think it was a combination of chatting with Tina about how her friend is socially ADD, and reading in Prim about the effects of Adderall. I didn't stay asleep long enough to see what dream-Adderall does to me though. =d

Choices Choices

2009-04-13T20:29:00.001-07:00

I admit, I made a few pretty bad choices this weekend. Well.. a few may not encompass all the irresponsibility that trespassed this weekend, but more, I shall not say.

This weekend was also one of the first times that I truly felt that someone really really doesn’t like me. And you know what? I don’t care. That’s such a liberating feeling… that I finally feel a shred of independence from what others think of me. It’s great, because I’ve never been able to say that before. This weekend may have been more than enough to justify her dislike of me, but I had already known she didn’t favor me too well before friday either. But it’s okay. She can go on being the way she is, feeling the way she does. I can’t say that I don’t regret the choices I made, or the things I did, but I don’t think I quite deserved her antipathy (at least… before this weekend). And now, she feels for me exactly what I expected she would. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look her in the eye again, but honestly, that’s not my loss.

On a brighter note, I butchered my own hair today. And I am loving it XP

I wonder what a man like Bush thinks..

2009-03-31T13:27:00.001-07:00

when he looks at the state the country is in now, and realizes that part of its cause is his own doing.

hm..

Spring Quarter Resolutions

2009-03-31T01:55:00.001-07:00

I will make an honest effort to study
I will keep in touch with my high school friends
I will sleep more
I will work harder, play harder (but less frequently)
I will be more organized
I will learn Japanese

hm…
SKYPE ME! : isnt.it.r0mantic
or OOVOO: angeni0us

i just found out how fun video chatting is XP

i won't lie...

2009-03-16T16:56:00.001-07:00

I still hold it against you.

Revival

2009-02-25T19:29:00.001-08:00

I realized that after I’ve come to college, I’ve changed.

I’m rude
I don’t care about what people think as much
I’m obnoxious
I procrastinate
I’m lazy
I blow people off way too easily
I’m bad tempered
I forget to look on the bright side

I need a renewal.
I need to be a better person.

Crap-fucking-Tastic

2009-02-18T16:37:00.001-08:00

Oh hot damn, it’s finally over!

Weeks and weeks of 12-hour cram sessions and falling asleep while trying to choke German into my already overstuffed break and making poor attempts to study Chem while someone in the background is going “WHERE IS ANGIE WE NEED HER ON STAGE” and lab reports and work and studying and yearbook and studying and fun but badly timed social stuff and studying STUDYING STUDYING.

its over! wheeeee!

So what I got out of the last two incredibly flustered weeks:
- Never leave EVERYTHING last minute. Starting.. and finishing a 6-page paper in one day? Not fun. Learning 2.5 chapters of chem in one day? not fun. Doing two post-labs and a pre-lab in one night? not fun. Never. Again. pretty please?
- Not sleeping does really fuck with your mental capacity. since when did equivalence point = pH = pKa? fuck you, Lab. fuck you, lack of curve. Fuck you, fucking C-.

What I have to look forward to:
Dance Marathon!!! Please help me reach my mandatory minimum of 235! Any amount is appreciated, and if you don’t want to register, feel free to tell me you’d like to donate, and i’ll walk over to wherever you are. WHEREVER. seriously. I’m still 80 bucks short so PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE any amount is appreciated!
CN Afterparty! Boy oh boy do we deserve it for kicking ASS monday night! yay! I’ll looking forward to seeing all the new friends i met during the course of CN again.

Well. Time to figure out frREALS what major i want to be. fREALS.
Wish me luck!

My Life… as it is right now

2009-02-08T04:14:00.001-08:00

||: Wake up
-> Jog/weights+Shower
-> Go to class
-> Come back from/ ditch class
-> do nothing for a while (usually involves google.com/reader
-> lunch
-> Go to class
-> Come back from class with a note book full of doodles and “I’m Gay” written by George while I am asleep
-> work/extracurriculars/do nothing
-> if its tuesday, more class
-> if its not, then more doing nothing.
-> chinese homework
-> sleep :|| <= repeat sign, for anyone who’s already forgotten music theory

note all the “doing nothing’s”

this is why i am up at 4 am in the night before my chem midterm, utterly fucked.

A Lesson in Naivety

2009-02-04T08:15:00.001-08:00

Never assume that what you do does not reflect your perception in other’s eyes, no matter what position you are in nor what your relationship with the other person is.

That’s what I’ve learned the last few days anyways.

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how hard you work or how much you kiss ass… in the end, what you receive may just be chalked up to some bullshit reason such as “you just haven’t worked here for long enough” or “you’re female, you can’t handle the stress.” Of course, the latter has only been whispered among the other workers, a rumor of the discussions that went on behind closed doors, but it stings all the same.

Another note on interviews, which may be completely and blatantly obvious to some (But not really to me): even if you joke around with your interviewer on a day to day basis while on the job, keep tangents to a minimum, and don’t blabber. Oh, I am such a blabberer.

In the end, I can just be bitter.

But I suppose I’ll be the same as I always was, joking with my bosses, trying hard to be good when I can and be better when I can’t. Service with a smile, Hospitality First. That’s what it says on my name card, and, despite my disappointments, that’s what I’ll continue to provide.

On another note…

FACKK SCHOOL IS SUCH A BITCH. Why the FUCK is my life so fucking BUSYYY!!?!?! I got myself into it LOL and now i’m like OSHIT! AOSDFALSKFN!! too much! but its okay. Little sleep and lots of cramming these few days and I’ll pull through! Then a one week breather before its pretty much dead week again. ggmylife.

Holy Fuck

2009-01-28T14:06:00.000-08:00

On monday night I slept for 4 hours, and Tuesday I slept 3 hours.

I got back from DM clubbing at 2:30 am yesterday...
and then proceeded to sleep through all of my classes until 11 am.

I even REMEMBER my alarm ringing and thinking "i'm gonna sleep for 5 minutes" so i put the alarm on snooze.. and then slept for 4 more hours.

Then when George called me in the morning to wake me up, I remember thinking "... I don't remember him telling me we were gonna run in the morning.." and then the first thing i hear when I pick up the phone is like "you didn't go to your classes?" and then I thought vaguely ".. I dont have classes before 7am..."
and then he told me it was 11 am. LOLOL

gg :(

Indecision and my trouble with OS's

2009-01-25T01:01:00.000-08:00

I really hate that I'm so indecisive.

I swear, I spent a few long hours on this debate last quarter already, and I've already been through the agonies of distinguishing the pros and cons of the two.

But here I am again, today, back at the same debate...

Windows XP or Windows Vista?

Strangely, having reinstalled Vista about... three times these last two months does not deter me from considering reinstalling yet AGAIN. Perhaps installing OS's is one of those things where the more you do it, the less painful it gets? (*refrains from any obvious connotations*)
But honestly, I'm tired of flipflopping between the two.

I discovered today that Windows XP Pro has an issue with WPA secured wireless connectivity, after I spent three hours trying to diagnose why the hell my wireless does not work when I'm at home. A couple minutes of Googling later, and voila! Seems like all XP Pro systems have this similar problem.

However, when reinstalling completely becomes a faster fix than digging through documentation and forums with posts that reveal no conclusive solutions, I really begin to wonder whether something is wrong with me after all. Maybe I have some weird addiction to completely wiping my computer, because psychologically it makes me feel like I'm not just wiping the slate clean... I'm tossing the entire slate into the fucking incinerator, where it'll be reduced to small chunks of charred plastic and some toxic fumes.

But anyways. My dilemma is now: shall I dualboot XP and Vista then? that'll definately stop the needless flipflopping, and since I'm going to back up everything in my computer to my external anyways, I can just access any files I need on the spot from there. The only question that remains is:

does that mean I'll have to install photoshop twice? How about picasa... or digsby... or firefox... or illustrator... or.....

or maybe I should just work on Chem, like i'm supposed to.